h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

NO ists are going to take over these grounds!!!

::appears with a *BAMF!!*::

Well, m'Lady, look at the statistics here... since I went offline, there were exactly three (3) visits to this campsite, two of which were you, dear. Since I've begun considering ahhh.... /renovations/, just LOOK at all the traffic!
Don't look at it as a bunch of ists taking over the site... instead, just look at it as the natural progression of... of ummmm.... well, progress!!

I look at it as luring in tourists.

And there weren't many visits to the site when you were gone because I was also gone, and who wants to talk to themselves!??

Well, actually, I've seen that very thing more than once... but point taken, of course...

Now explain exactly WHAT is wrong with luring in tourists? I mean, I have to get my sacrificees /somewhere/, you know

SACRIFICES!??/

Your approval rating went down ten more points just now!!!

Are you KIDDING????? The sacrifice bit is what got me into business in the first place!!! Don't worry, though, m'Lady, we only sacrifice young virgin blondes, so you're in the clear You ARE a brunette, right??

*breathes fire*

::materializes a fire extinguisher and a medic for Artenshuir, then reluctantly packs his magical easel and disappears with a *WHOOOMP!!*::

................

*stops breathing fire*

You want some water!???

no, thanks

::throws another backlog on the fire::

*gets out the marshmallows*

::looks around for sticks::

*starts singing*

Oh you'll never get to heaven!

::looks justifiably confused::

*pokes the confusedness out of Ms. D.* No Justifiability around here, if you please.

OOO!!!! My goodness, Arty!!!! How... assertive....