h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dwarves are expendible? Nice to see that political correctness hasn't been invented yet Oh, I was under the impression that it was probably the dwarves in the corner we were creaping toward?

I still don't know what's in the corner coz I'm still cowering in a girlie fashion behind you. Does it look like dwarves?

I should have qualified my previous statement about dwarves being expendable: the female ones are particularly expendable. This non-PC world is rather liberating

And no doubt the deformed half-whitted female Dwarves at that? Hmm, still can't tell quite yet,
*moves foward mere inches

*comes out from behind SK and goes over to the corner*
*gives whatever is in the corner a good kick*

Well, it squeals like dwarves I do so love this non-PC feudal system. I think they're probably poor too *gives them a poke with a sturdy stick that happens to be leaning against the wall*

*walks over to corner avoiding the sturdy stick
*picks up one of the things in the corner by its hair
Oh, look it is a dwarf!
*turns dwarf over, hmm, which one is this?

I don't know, they all look the same to me Is it male or female? It's hard to tell when they've all got beards!

*squeezes Dwarf
Hmm, high piched scream I think this is Dwarf 9 the female one
SSSSCCCCRRRREEEEEAMAAAM!
Who are those horribily armed people over there carrying banners? Oh no, i think its the Dwarf rights and beard Brevity freedom fighters? did i just say that?

The Dwarf rights and beard Brevity freedom fighters? How quaint Do you think they'll perform for us? I've heard they're a scream I believe they performed at Camelot last summer, they jumped and shouted and looked fearsome. A Knight I knew at the castle said they were a hoot, had everyone in fits of laughter with their cries for equal rights and an end to discrimination. They were so amusing the jester was killed on the spot for not being up to their standard

I'll go ask them
*walks ove rto the Dwarf rights and beard Brevity freedom fighters and has a quiet word with them
*walks back
Can't understand what they said, something about trubble for injury to dwarf, hmm, should i kill them?

You could, but we haven't found the hairdresser and we're in need of a tidy up. I think we need to get our priorities right and stop playing with minions.

Yes, we do,
*throws dwards at the Dwarf freedom whatsit fighters knocking them over
right,
*walks up to door of hair salon
Hmm, there is a note on the door, shal I read it?

Yes please, I would but I might expend some energy walking over there

Ok, I'll read it::

tub yrros ma i
eht ot enog evah i

Oh i thinks its upside down
I am sorry but I have gone to the retirement home for haridressors
Signed Sandra

***
Oh dear, I know hold on and I'll find where I put the whatsit that made us jump here and we can jump to the retirement home for hairdressors

Good thinking SK What are we waiting for? My hair's starting to frizz I NEED conditioning

Right ahhh! Ulricka! if we just pass through this unstability feild in space time we should end up somehwere :: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F68913?thread=119493

*suddenly without so much as a warning, a sign appears out of think air (which isn't that* think), saying: try here for dragon for those that seek to do things to dragon: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F68913?thread=120593&post=2523004#p2523004