h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

British television; a marvel for a USA person (since it seems I can't call myself an American anymore) to behold. It may interest you to know there are only two things on TV I make a point of watching: the X-Files and PBS British Comedies. Therefore I am exposed to a great deal more British TV than American TV. Yet as to its influence on my vocabulary, I fear if I pick it up, I will sound antiquated! Surely Monty Python and Are You Being Served? slang is no longer current? But there is salvation for me yet: I *do* say "smeg-head." However, I usually use it in the same sentence as "y'all." Ah, what a bastardized language...

Apart from the aspect of slang vocabulary, there is evidence that the syntax of official BBC English has established itself as the standard.

Nobody in Britain says smeg-head I'm afraid, love. Still, bonzer, eh?

I like that, "love." I went to visit my "folks" (parents, in case I'm correct in my suspicion that not everyone refers to their Mom and/or Dad as "folks") 2 weeks ago and their satellite system has now added a channel called BBC America. Ah! For a "fortnight" I got to see not only British comedy, but British news and soap operas as well.
What I have seen has confirmed my suspicions that, despite nationality, culturally we're all pretty much just as bad as our sibs.

Lowest common denominator crackerjack culture

Speaking as someone who's been exiled in Holland for 3 years, the BBC in the shape of the TV channels on cable (I sometimes feel I was born at exactly the right point in history) and Radio 4 has been my primary link to home. I love it.

John, you'd be the kind of man to go for the relatively recent "Learning Zone", where all those dead night-time hours when other channels show US cop shows, instead teach people Italian, or History of Art, or how to make a souffle. I still thank the old Saturday morning Open University slot for switching me on to so much in the world.

Mainstream TV is in a bit of a decline, though. There are no stand-out SitComs being developed any more, having been entirely replaced by panel games from Hat Trick featuring stand-up comedians as team captains. Peak-time viewing now has only three types of programs slotted around the News and Eastenders: fly-on-the-wall documentaries focussing on characters who are "colourful" (mad), "amusingly" effeminate, or both; semi-game shows where people try to cook a meal, decorate a room or plant a garden in far too short a time to do it properly; and tear-jerkers about children or animals. It brings in the viewers, but it's not as challenging as it used to be.

BBC2, however, is holding up quite nicely. Any channel which can give you cricket, Jo Brand on the third world debt crisis, and Red Dwarf all on the same evening is doing something right.

Late night viewing here is all time-warp stuff ("Voyage to the Bottom of the sea" and the "Beverly Hillbillies") and Info-mercials advertising phone dating and hair implants.

The American PBS and TVOntario are the only real venues for genuine educational television. Although, there has been a recent explosion in cable "specialty" channels. They are usually marketed in packages. So, for instance, if you have an irresistible need to watch sci-fi programming or cartoons (no kidding), you must also subscribe to "The Nashville Network". There is a station called "Life Network" that seems to perpetually recycle the same two or three cooking shows and a doggie obedience program that seems to start whenever you tune in.

Your comment about the paucity of good comedies not animated in Korea rings true. Although that doesn't seem to upset the US viewers, who pledge money to PBS to ensure the continuation of "Are you being served?".

Um...if I pledged money to PBS, it *would* be for "Are You Being Served" (and, of course, "Red Dwarf.") Certainly not for their silly concerts with people who haven't had an album in decades or Teletubbies! Nothing against British kids' shows, and I wouldn't care even if Tinky Winky *was* gay, but that sun with the baby face just creeps me out!

I'd pay good money *NOT* to see another Mark Russel special.