h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've always heard people say, "In the first person," or "in the third person..." What I wanna know is, how would you write in the second person, and what is it exactly??? If there isn't one, then why is there a blank between first and third? I could just hear it now - "Johnny's on first base, running for second -- Oh, no! They stole second base, so now he's humping it down the line to third!!!"

1st person is the speaker - i.e me/I
2nd person is the addressee - i.e you
3rd person is the third party - i.e they

Alright here ya go then. Click on this for examples of the first, second and third person in action. Read a bit and you'll get the idea. But hey! Just don't expect me to fetch your paper and slippers too. http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F19585?thread=128542 How-oooo!

HEY! I already answered that!!!!!!!!

Guess your answer was a li'l better though

My thanks to all who have contributed to this question. From those answers, I take it that Dr. Watson of Sherlock Holmes lore tends to write in the first two contexts:

1) I saw Mr. Holmes this morning at tea.
2) You would not believe me if I told you. (assuming to the reader direct)

Does he ever write in the third person, other than in speaking to either Holmes or us? I'm trying to become a great writer, but "self" is relatively relative (although I'm still not that proud of my extreme forebears...) Context, tense, and flow are required... So, those of you with English understanding, teach this Earthman your language... Or at least how best to avoid its written pitfalls...