h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Can I plant the seeds of Hope for everyone?
And a tree ,and some bluebells in memory of my cat Tabitca who was tragically poisoned at the age of 12 by someone horrid.

I'd like to plant a pine here

Oh yes, Tabitca. Go ahead! This garden grows slowly but looks more stunning each day.

You may plant whatever your heart desires Inky.

How about some nip, and wood? I reckon the garden could do with a few pets!

nip is . wood is ok as long as it's planted head first so it can't bark at the frogs.

*planting a beautiful pine in the south-east corner of the garden*

Inky, how did you get a pine of that size in here on your own?

Infinity... You're a mean horrible person wanting to plant my wood upside down. Why not just get them a kennel?

And another thing what have your frogs been up to? I believe a couple of giraffes contracted frog fever, and I've noticed a couple of yours haven't been around for a couple of days... makes you wonder, doesn't it!

*talking to herself* (Oooh! How can Eternity break the unspoken rule of this land, and her an Ambassador and all)

*starts digging*

*plants a wood, head up*



the wood's bark magically disappears.

A couple of my what haven't been around?

*thinks*

Some of my frogs on on tour at the moment and I never had any giraffes. The story about the giraffes having frog fever is wrong, they just got sore necks from whispering to the frogs for too long.

Hi Inky, lovely pine! What chance of being here in December. I plan on throwing a huge party here in the garden. Would it be ok if I decorate your pine for that party?

*still worrying about Eternity, wheels a barrow of bricks over to the far west wall of the garden and starts building*

worrying?

*looking around to see that noone is watching*

( 1000 bricks lay themselves)

*moves back to Inky's pine*

Yep! Not like you to speak like that! Not like you at all! Must be a small reason for it!

*shaking her head, sits down to ponder*

Well its pretty simple really, how would you like it if someone wanted to stick you in the ground head first? and those Giraffe's have gotten me thinking... what have your frogs been up to?

But I do love you, you know that !! Just be nice to my wood please!!

What's with the bricks?

Well...
Your 1st ? : Can't be so bad - Clive does it all the time.

2nd ? : I guess that's a giraffe/frog secret. (That's why they whispered)

3rd? : It's a secret.

1st: Clives an Ostrich that talks through his rear according to you, so assume he might breathe through there to... this is a dogwood, it doesn't have a rear!

2nd: Dead Giraffes don't whisper

3rd: Thats fine, 'cause I know something you don't so we're even!

big, big,

The dogwood I planted is right way up! It just doesn't have bark!

The Giraffes aren't dead, their necks are sore!

You're also being mean!

Oh please do decorate it- that's what pines are *for*
As for me being here, I'll do my best

er... can't remember how I got it in here. I think it was

Thanks Inky. It will be the best decorated tree in h2g2!

Eternity, the giraffes you are talking about (the dead ones) were stupid enough to pack my touring frogs in the giraffe fodder. Ok they were trying to be kind to the frogs but really...!

Hmmm. bit of a menagery problem you seem to be having here.

Allow me to interject with the wisdom of an old friend of mine, who devised an answer to every known problem in the universe....

..."Put all de lil' buggers in a box"