h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Nferno,

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lil xx

What you have written is so very true. For years I was depressed because I relied on others to make me happy, in fact the reverse happened and I became suicidal, after a number of years on this roller coaster, realisation kicked in, it was the fact that only one person in your own life can make you happy, that is yourself. When this is achieved, everything else follows, then you meet someone and you make each other happy. This could be the point, as you have stated love within your spiritual self is an extension of God. It has taken me a lifetime to learn this, after all the mistakes in my life, it has all become very clear. Now I see the point in everything in life, the main one being treat others, as you wish to be treated. I am so glad I found the point, because if I hadn't I would not be here today, maybe to help someone else find the point in something they are looking for. The point is truly within all of us, we just have to make the effort to find it.

The exercise you mention is a very good one for relationships, I did this in a very bad marriage I was in, I was treated very badly , but thought I was in love. Then one day I wrote down the advantages and disadvantages of our marriage, there were no advantages, everything became clear, and I divorced my brutal husband. I always use this method in most areas of life, it never fails to let you see the truth about something, even if it is painful, but you cannot ignore the fact that anything with a disadvantage in your life, would make sense to let it go. There are always more advantages out there if you look hard enough.

I take your point about the conflict between immediate and mediated experience, and I agree that the attempt to live in the moment is a noble and worthwhile venture (even if this is too often conducted with the aid consciousness altering intoxicants, or is that just my parties?)

However, I would dispute your implication that life is in some directing us or has plans for us. Admittedly I am profoundly atheist and I am thus likely to reject any assertion of such wider intention, but I also think it undermines the idea that the search for immediacy is a good. To assert this wider intention would mean that truth or reality is not contained in the moment, but exists at least partly elsewhere, that however hard you contemplate the daisy it will never tell you enough to understand. I suppose at root (ho-ho)I do think the daisy should be sufficient. That if there is anything useful to think about being alive it should be easily comprehensible and not exist only at an intellectual distance. That it should be a way of being, not the result of extrapolated logical argument. So maybe we are syaing some of the same things there.

So much of what some consider religiousity or the spiritual or just plain 'important' is, in my opinion, just a matter of paying attention to what is happening around you and how you react to it. At this point I usually quote what Olivier, the phliosophical art teacher in Six Feet Under once said. He described the best art as existing in the place where 'exactly what is inside you meets exactly what is around you'. And this is as useful a motto for life in general as I have encountered. It's a good place to be, on the rare occasions one can get there.

This is a flying visit, thank you for your message, which was very interesting and when I have had time to digest your interesting theory, I will reply, but for now ask yourself this question, are you truly happy.

Hello Allaina,

Thank you for your reply and I hope things are good with you. The short answer to your question is No, I am not always happy but then I do not necessarily value happiness to the exclusion of other states or emotions so that is unsurprising. My emotions are conflicted and complex and do not make sense, and that is how I feel things should be. I enjoy it when I am happy, but it is not a feeling I can maintain for long. Often it is replaced by frustration, excitement, disillusionment, lethargy, annoyance etc etc and all these experiences are as important to 'what it is thst I am'.

To be honest I put happiness quite far down the list. It's a little dull and just sits there. The emotion or internal experience I value most is that place I was attempting to describe by my Six Feet Under quote, what might in a wider sense be refered to as an epiphany, a moment of crystaline perception. In my case this often comes through the application of a poetic or musical sensibility, the discovery of a new way of putting the world together that brings new sense to it.

As I have indicated before, this does not for me involve recourse to a God figure, or anything other than the apparent world but I understand and feel kinship with those who do hold religious belief, because I do not think it is so different a position from my own (and I am glad to find people who are thinking beyond the desire to shop). It is just not a step I feel any need to take. A friend of mine once said 'What do I need with God when everything is already so amazing." And I think he's right.

The implied content of your question I take to be 'Are you really happy with your life/self or are you just deluded?' The atheist in me wishes to respond 'What's so bad about your life/self that you don't hope for anything better than just being happy?"

Yours,

TinyWorm

The point in life is to hand on your genes to make a better person. People tend to choose a partner who has things that they themselves dont have eg if a tall person doesnt like being tall, then they will probably end up with a shorter person in order to have better proportioned offspring.-in their eyes of course.

if you are depressed with life then you need to change something and dont be afraid. Fear is the problem, but you are only here once, go for it-only you can do it, you Have to make that step

Thank you for your response scentedshower. Again, however I have to disagree. I have at no point said I was depressed with life, I merely assert that there are more important things than being happy. My anger, my joy, my doubt and frustration are facets that I value more highly than contentment. If all I could manage in life was happiness I would definitely be depressed.

I agree with you about fear being a problem, but the kind of fear I worry about is that fear which stops people stepping outside the shallow emotional state of happiness. How they allow their lives to be governed by social circumstance because they are afraid they might have to deal with complex questions or emotions.

Do you think that we are better people if we choose the use of mood-enhancing drugs or perhaps opt for a lobotomy? Then what is so good about being happy, is that a noble end in itself?

Not giving into fear is about engaging with the complexity, admitting that you will never be sure if you have arrived, seeing and hearing and feeling all the shades and colours of being alive.

Not just beige : )

no one is happy all the time, it is natural to feel down and depressed, it you dont get down, how would you know happy?

you are at one with life if eg when late for work, you dont speed or worry about what your boss will say-but look around at the trees and appreciate the rain etc

There is. Your question proves it is there. But you can not or shall not point out a single point in life as the point differs from person to person and moment after moment when one grasps a point and leave it after for another one. Find your point. Seek it. Then you will know it.

God's teeth . . .

THE POINT IS THE VERY HUGE STORY BUT THE SHORT RESONE THE LIFE IS GOOD GIFT WHO'S MAKE THIS WORLD FOR HIS CREATION TO NOW SHAAKES PAIR THEY STAGE OF SEVEN ROOL DOING SEPEND THERE LIFE. BUT IN SEVERN DAYS WHAT U WANT TO GET THE REAL FICT IS THAT. IN SHORT TIME U KNOW THE GOOD CREATION. AND KEEP BATTER ROOL FOR HUMAN BEING.