h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do you want to enhance that perfect pick-up line by uttering it in a sophisticated Noo Yawk accent?

Do you want to intimidate rivals in business meetings by growling your proposals in a threatening Noo Yawk accent?

Do you want to make anything you say sound inane by proclaiming it in a blustering Noo Yawk accent?

For those interested parties, there are private Noo Yawk lessons available for a small fee.

Ask mefa help, gowon...

Hello, nice lady.
I been listening to yer lessons and they are nice and everything but I was wondering if you are loud enough. No-no, not that I like loud - but most New Yorkers, I mean most Americans learned to talk over the volume of the TV set (and the objections of more more reasonable people) and as a result their volume controls seem stuck on 'painful'. And tha's why it's so nice to see the words just laying there quietly on the page for a change. I can play them back at my own volume which is kinda soft and low and un-jarring. Is there a cassette available?

DIS LOWD ENUF FORYA, JOHNNY?

We didn't have a television blaring in the background while I was growing up, I'm a natural-born big-mouth!

You don't really want to hear me talk, trust me ...

After doing this silly Entry, I've been really listening to the people around me, and after going to Opening Day at Shea Stadium yesterday, I realized how horrible we all sound! I've been exaggerating the sounds to write them out phonetically, but I heard some people yesterday that made me realize I hadn't exaggerated nearly enough!

Vaariyuzful, Shea-ha! I'mgonnahavte trainma eah-hears byreedinawtthe stuff annahcan tellya itayntihse forsumbaddihoo slipsinsum geehrmen slangowr stawts thentriloquating ethery now and then. Yaathoodn't needtaw tellmahpoor sowl whata towngtthister is, naaw!

(Translation Very useful, Shea! I'm going to have to train my ears by reading out the stuff, and I can tell you it isn't easy for somebody who slips in some german slang or starts ventriloquating every now and then. You wouldn't need to tell my poor soul what a tong-twister is, nooo!

Did you post in another language? Naughty, naughty!

There's so much slang in NY from other countries, I'm sure the German will fit right in!

I'd better finish the ordering in a restaurant section before you arrive here! I was going to wait until school was over, not a lot of time right now!

Well I tried my best to write in Noo Yowk English, and must have failed miserably -- or succeeded brilliantly -- at least the [[[]]] didn't find her/his way through.

Well Bossel, if what you wrote was in Noo Yawk English, and it's been moderated, you must have gotten it exactly right!! Well done! I think you're ready for that trip now! Consider yourself a graduate of the skul!

* grows by two inches in pride *

Wow! That was a straight walk-through, and honours to the teacher! You don't find too many teachers of that quality, do you. Not even a second lesson was necessary, although I'm looking forward to still improve my skills .

If youse gotta accent dat'll offenda modaraydahs, yer ok by me!

Yea-ha, Imo onathat kind! Ana nottonly this, Ima slippin insome weird thentriloqisngs ethery nowandthen, y'no, and Imafraid this puts the Mods out of synchronism. There are some more attempts on putting the Mods to their limits, err... wait a second, have to search for the link...

There we are: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F1663?thread=100431 This thread started while the Italics and some ACEs, Gurus and Scouts were testing the new site *during* rupert, and putting the Mods to the test was, and still is, its sole purpose :-)

*waits*

Oops! Simulpost! I've lurked there before! I've found that you can get away with quite a bit of innuendo, so long as you're not really, really, really blatant!

I guess the trick lies in the way the postings get presented to the Mods: *one at a time*, so they never get the gist of the whole series, hee hee

Maybe if we start presenting the postings really well they'll leave them alone! That was awful, sorry ...

Hmm, don't know whether bribery is frowned upon or listed under the "Don't..." section, but

what if

we split offending

or questionable contents