h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wasn't it unfortunate that her moist skin became frozen to the ice and she couldn't get back up<?>

Wasn't that not nearly as tragic as what happened to Pauly the Panda<?>

Wasn't he one of the premier Panda limbo-ers<?>

Didn't he impale himself on a limbo-stick when he learned that he had the same first name as Pauly Shore<?>

Is this getting too depressing<?>

Shall I not tell a happy animal sports story<?>

How about Sammy the Snake<?>

Didn't he go on to do very well in the competition for World's Best Animal Limbo-er<?>

But did he not come in second to Minnie the Mite<?>

Aren't hamster bowlers much more interesting, though<?>

Isn't it fun to see them try to roll the ball, only to slip inside the finger holes and go rolling down the alley<?>

Don't they also have trouble finding the proper sized bowling shoe<?>

Isn't it also hard for them to throw the ball with enough force to reach the pins<?>

Weren't there attempts to create a horse football league<?>

Didn't plans fall through when they were unable to decide whether it was supposed to be soccer or American football<?>

How about the Bat Dart Thrower's Association<?>

Didn't the number of injuries drop drastically when they stopped using sonar-proof dartboards<?>

And remember what happened to the cat swim team<?>

Wasn't that a horrible day for animal sports<?>

Wasn't the story of the tortoise track team less depressing<?>