h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Which cruel parent was the first to utter that little gem. Also, the stories about the bogeyman, and worse, the sandman (a complete psycho who sneaks into children's rooms and RUBS SAND IN THEIR EYES) makes me wonder how kids get any sleep at all.

I agree that parents must be demented. Remember the stories about monsters in the closet?? I'm 20 and I still can't sleep with the closet door open. Sad, and demented definitely.

Whilst I totally agree that parents can be utterly monsterly and depraved, I must also defend my mother who from my earliest years sprinkled fairy dust in my imagination and whispered me to sleep with tales of wonder and magic. They ain't all bad

I made the unfortunate mistake of letting my child watch a film about witches.Now she won't go to sleep unless her bed is surrounded in a circle of salt....ARGGGHH!

A little hint for parents whose children have problems with monsters, bogeymen etc at night.
Fill a mist spray gun (as used for plants) with a little water scented with lavender. Tell the child that it is a magic anti-monster spray that they can keep by their bed just in case.
Spray under the bed and in corners just before the child gets into bed. This empowers the child and helps them to face their fears - and the lavender scent is an aid to sleep.
If the parent habitually uses a particular scent an alternative is to add a little of the perfume to the water instead of lavender. The familiar scent of Mum or Dad can also be quite comforting.

Hmmm ... giving kids guns, fake or otherwise isn't really the best of plans. Just give them a stick to fend off the unwanted nasties. Or a hankie ...

Nope - I disagree. The mist 'gun' is actually completely unlike a 'standard' gun. Indeed it will look to kids exactly like that (very same) thing you please your plants with. I think it's a great idea. Besides, do you wanna give your kid a stick and encourage her/him to beat up nasties? The magic engagement of the imagination is always the superior way

I was, of course, being ironic. However, make sure, in the case of the mist gun, that there's not too much in there if you have a particularly easily frightened child, or it will look like flood city come morning. Further to this, never give a child a garden hose to defend their person. You have been warned.

I once (recently, and I'm 28!) had a dream that some hottible bogey-man was chewing my legs off. I woke up, sweat dripping from my brow.. and I couldn't feel my legs! Luckily I'd just had cramp in the night, but for a horrible moment... well, I don't like to think about it.

The bogey man WAS there. The reason you couldn't feel your legs was that he's chewed your arms off!

Ah! Now that would explain both a)why I can't use my digital watch, and b)where my digital watch is anyway!

There was a television series, on BBC1 I think, where they took a camera into the carpet pile, and into the bedclothes so you could see exactly what was living in your sheets, in your carpet and in your skin etc. Wasn't a nice program at all and cause lots of people many sleepless nights. Aparently "bed bugs" thrive in beds of sexually active people... as there's more "stuff" to feed on or something.... *shudder*

Hmmm, I don't know if the chat up line "Do you want to come up and see my bed bug collection" will ever catch on. Could anyone inform me as to whether they have tried this approach and had any success?

I don't think that the "come and see my bed, it's alive with creepie crawlies" approach would be at all successful, although you never know with some people...

Hmmm, "Fancy a menage a trois million?"

Nice try, but I still don't think that would work! Just the thought off all those creatures crawling around every where makes me shudder!

Eyelashes are also home to little creatures who munch dead skin cells, so they're not just external!!!

They're everywhere! *shudder* Makes you want to peel your skin off and give it a boil!

Ah, yes - but isn't it nice to know that you are never alone??
Just you and millions of little things living with you and off you.
Maybe they (the bugs) will start a HitchHikers Guide to The Human Body ..... printed on the cover in large letters "Don't Scratch!!!"

It certainly makes you think doesn't it. I mean, all those life forms depending on you, makes you realise what a responsibility you have... all these dependants