h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

.....and if they do...bite 'em back.

Well, we humans have a tendancy to kill most of them. For instance, over thousands of years an amoeba-like creature evolved that live solely on decaying matter in our mouths. The upshoot of this was that it basically cleaned people's teeth by removing plaque and garbage. Toothpaste kills these handy little things.

Well, yes, but the upshot is that nowadays we can keep our own teeth for five or six decades, wereas non-toothpasting personages of bygone ages only kept their's for about four.

well i was going to go to bed. now i rather think that i shan't sleep for ages as i now have a severe case of the willies.and to makes matters worse, i think the little buggers can sense my fear. and now they are acting up something fierce. i could have sworn one just skated over my eye. i am not happy at all.i think the bugs are rather enjoying it though, and i'm sure they'll want to thank you.

As the disgruntled traveller departed from the Inn
he thanked his host with the following
"Thankyou good sir
the generosity of the hospitality
was only exceeded
by the size
of the bedbugs"


and its goodnight from him

Well ...i thought this might be a good place to make my first contribution to h2g2...as I often get called bug for
some reason?? Anyway..I know it was ages ago..but I am wondering how u would distill the scent of mum and
dad...as per what feisor suggested(after the lavender oil)?? It's enough to give me nightmares!!

Hi Bug
If you read that post again you will note that I said "If the parent habitually uses a particular scent an alternative is to add a little of the perfume to the water instead of lavender."
I was not suggesting boiling Mum or Dad down to get their essence.
It would also not be a good idea if Mum or Dad reeked (sp?) of cigarettes or booze.
But it is the act of empowering the child that does the most good.
I am honoured to be the target of your first reply

oops....sorry ..just goes to show....pays to read things b4 u have double vision from the drink!! ..
And whew!!! @ not boiling up mum and dad..(speaking of scaring the kids) ..Hey wonder if this
will do a smiley face for me?? nope

No probs - BTW the smiley is : - ) (without the spaces)
Try this location for more info http://www.h2g2.com/P91478

Drool Frood said: "I made the unfortunate mistake of letting my child watch a film about witches.Now she won't go to sleep unless her bed is surrounded in a circle of salt....ARGGGHH!"

I know how to fix that. Tell her the movie was wrong and witches laugh when they see protection circles of salt. Tell her the only way to ward off evil witches is to have confidence of spirit. Evil spirits thrive on little children that don't believe in themselves. If you say it with a straight face I bet she'll buy it.

I repeated the above quote because I don't know where this is going to land when I hit "post." The threading thing makes messages hard to follow sometimes. Especially if there's seven weeks between messages.

Just watch, I say that and this message will happen to land JUST AFTER the one I'm responding to.