h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: How Tender Are Your Buttons? Alice and Gertrude and What They Taught Us - A51501539
Author: dmitrigheorgheni - U1590784

This is intended to sing the praises of two very delightful women who, as far as I know, harmed no one in their lives - no matter what they may have done to world literature.

It was only after posting it that I realised this entry was in some way inspired by B'Elana's essay on feminine modesty.

And, of course, by the bicycle canard...

The facts are as accurate as I could make them. Please feel free to check things out and let me know if I have missed EG links, etc.

I also apologise for the seriousness of the subject...literature is very serious...

an excellent article.



a footnote on Comstock could be an idea

Thanks for the thought. I thought about a footnote, although I think I might be able to link to my own guide entry on Comstock, if/when it's in the guide.

The was a nice touch.

I'm with notsobaldeagle: a very delightful read.

For my clarification: is it Breen Peas - or should that be Green Peas?

And in footnote 9 you wrote Lesvos (Lesbos, I guess it should be?)

Oh, and here

>>In fact, her work is still taken seriously, as subject for study and as inspiration for more than brownie recipes.<<

it looks to me as if you are implying it was her who wrote the recipe book, when it was Alice - but then maybe that's just me.

Ms GB

Thanks, B'Elana, although you are up too early again.

Breen Peas appears to be correct. I have no idea what they are.

I meant to write Lesvos. Lesvos is the way Greeks write it in transliteration, because it is pronounced 'Les-vos'.

Good thought about the brownie recipe reference...I will have to think about a new way to word that.

'A glass of wine with Gertrude Stein I know I'll never share
But I don't mind, that's just the kind of cross each man must bear'
- 'Another Day', Neil Innes (The Rutles)

For years I've known the name Gertrude Stein but never anything more. Now I have been educated and greatly entertained in one fell swoop. Thank-you!

As I'm sure you've noticed an entry about Picasso is also under review. Will a link be automatic? If not, I suggest one.

I will look for this, thanks.

I read this just after it went into PR, but I've been wondering how to comment on it.

For some reason, this doesn't work for me like pretty much all of the entries of yours I've read. I think it has more to do with the introduction than anything else. After reading the entire entry, it left me feeling unsatisfied, or that the piece lacked focus - that it never got around to what I expected it to get around to. Thats probably because after I read the seven paragraphs of the intro, I expected the entry to focus on Alice, then the cookbook, then Gertrude and by the end of it, I wasn't sure what I'd just read.

The entry is undoubtedly stylishly and enjoyably written (the footnotes were overdone, I think, but I saw the Stretcher prompt and I can't fault you for them at all ). I particularly liked the Sex and Gender section. I think the entry lacks a sort of backbone of fact and chronology, though. I understand how challenging it can be to actually *write*, while incorporating facts, without letting their recitation get in the way of what's actually being *said*. But on this occasion, it left me sort of... dazed.

One example which I remember being particularly confusing is this sentence... "The result was that The Alice B Toklas Cookbook flew off the shelves, and that more than one hitherto-puzzled reader of Tender Buttons and Lifting Belly commented that Ms Stein's source of inspiration was now much clearer to them."
Having no familiarity with the two ladies, I had no idea what Tender Buttons or Lifting Belly were. Not even the context could help me, because at that point in the entry, I was not informed that Stein was a writer, and ignorant as I was, I simply assumed I would be informed of their significance later. However, the only other places in the entry when you mention "Tender Buttons" are the title and in attributions for the quotes.

What I'd like to see is a bit of a refocus. What the entry is about and what the most basic facts are should be clear after reading the intro or beginning at least, I think (I've often seen a "hook" section at the beginning, with a dryer intro section to follow, which I've found effective). I'm not asking for a droning recitation of facts, wikipedia style - God no! I love the style of this entry - but some more clarity is needed, I think.

I'll conclude by saying that I am very hesitant to post this, because you're a much better writer than I am, and you're clearly one of the best we've got on h2g2. Normally I might be a bit more restrained in criticism, especially for newer researchers, but from what I've seen, you're smart enough to recognize good intentions and also to be able to say "He's wrong" and ignore me completely.

Congratulations Jordan, that is the most considerate, elegant and valuable critique I have ever seen on hootoo.

Websailor

I second Websailot. That's good, honest feedback, and I thank you for it.

My intention was to write about both Alice and Gertrude, so I wanted to start with Alice and end with Gertrude.

I think I overestimated how well-known these two figures were. (At least one hootooer - not me - has a personal copy of 'Tender Buttons', and has been known to read it aloud.)

I realise the story is, in a sense, unfocussed. Because their lives were about more than one thing. I didn't want to miss out on that by reducing these people to a set of overwrought footnotes.

But you are right to point out if I fail to give you, the reader, a clear focus on the subject. I like to play upon people's expecations - but if the reader feels cheated, then I'm not doing it right.

Unfortunately, I work on Sundays, so I'm going to have to think about changes.

I'll hope to get some work done on this soonish - if not before The Stretcher deadline, at least afterwards. This contest is not intended to detract from the quality of the work here, and getting it right for the EG is more important than being side-splittingly funny.

Thanks again for the careful reading and the valuable feedback.

On the other hand, perhaps it will wet people's appetite to find out more. True, I knew a litte about Gertie & Alice before reading it....

Your call obviously (it's just that it was a pleasure to read)

Ah. I have tried to square the circle here - get the information in without spoiling the fun. Changed a bit, added a bit.

Let me know if this helps understanding at all.

to eat rapidly cooling lunch...

PS Read 'Tender Buttons'...as a friend of mine used to say about studying anthropology, 'it will change your life'...

Me again !

Being picky this time. The spelling is salonnière (accent) also further on you talk of soirees with no accent used,the same treatment would be better. Being really picky, 'salonned' is also used later (maybe it would be an idea to get rid of salonnière)

Did Gert meet Hitler? ('telling Hitler what she thought..' makes it seem so).

Still and now a little

Thanks for good nitpicks. I speak German, not French, and always get all the accents wrong - I will fix them.

No, she didn't meet Hitler - he would probably not have survived... Will reword.

I don't know much about this sort of stuff, but this looks well-written

One thing though - you treat certain substances as unspeakable when I've already written about them for a previous round of this competition I suppose you can put it down to artistic license.

Considering what happens to the secondary filter if you talk about certain topics, I feel justified in going on about them a little bit. Along with the amount of premodding that has occurred so far in this competition...

Not liking that new smiley much...not hating it as bad as the tongue-out thingy, but still...

What, ?