h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One day a girl was walking to school with a friend. She heard a voice whisper "Purple Passion" very creepily. She asked her friend, "Did you say something?" but her friend said, "No, why?". She shrugged and kept walking.
But this Purple Passion thing was really bothering her, so later in the day she raised her hand in class. The teacher called on her, and she said, "Please, will you tell me what 'Purple Passion' means?"
The teacher looked shocked and horrified, and with loathing in her voice she shouted, "Get out of my classroom you filthy child, I never thought any student of mine could be so horrible! Go to the principle's office immediately!"
The girl was nearly in tears, but she went. The principle was very sympathetic. He said, "You don't look like a bad girl, I've never seen you in here before. What happened?" She explained, sniffling, "I just asked what 'Purple Passion' meant, and the teacher got mad and sent me down here." The principle looked shocked amd horrified, and with loathing in his voice he shouted, "Get out of my classroom, you filthy girl! I never though any student in this school could be so horrible! Get out of this school immediately, you're expelled!"
Now the girl really was crying, but she went home. Her mom noticed she was home early and asked what was the matter. she said, "I asked the teacher a question, and she sent me to the principle, and I asked the principle, and he expelled me!" He mom said, "Wow, that must have been a pretty bad question. What did you ask?" She said, "I only asked what 'Purple Passion' meant!" Her mom looked shocked and horrified... (etc., etc.,)... Get out of my house immediately!"
The girl was completely undone by this, but she left. what else could she do? After a few days she hooked up with a bum on the streets. The bum got curious after a while and asked her what she had done to get thrown out. SHe replied, "I asked my teacher a question, and she sent me to the principle's office, and I asked the principle, and he sent me home, and I asked my mom and she kicked me out!" The bum said, "That must have been some question. What'd you ask?"
She said, "I only asked what 'Purple Passion' meant!" The bum was taken aback. "Wow, that is bad!" The girl akded, hopefully, "Can you tell me what it means?" The bum looked thoughtful. "No, I don't think I can. But I know who will." THe girl said, "Who, what do I have to do?"
THe bum told her she had to:
Go to the roof of the bank on the corner of first and main street
At the twelvth strike of the town clock, wave her hands above her head three times
See a woman on the kitty-corner street corner wave her hands back
and the woman would take her to someone who would tell her.
So the girl went and she climbed up all 8 flights of stairs. At the twelvth strike .... (etc., etc.) ...
And she saw the woman. So she ran down all the stairs and across the street--


And got hit by a bus.

The moral of the story is: Always look both ways before crossing the street.


I'm sorry. it's even worse in person. Oh, well, it's all I had to offer.