h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay, so there are these two guys, Bob and Joe. They work in the same office building and go out for lunch together every Thursday at the deli around the corner. But one Thursday they decide they're ready for something new, and they decide to go to this new diner that opened up across the way.
So they get to the diner, and they sit down in a booth perusing the menu. As they're sitting there the waitress comes, and she's like, "What'll ya have, boys?" Joe glances at the menu and says, "Cheeseburger and a Coke." The waitress turns to Bob. "And you, sir?" So Bob gives her this loooooooooong look and says, a little hesitantly, "Uh, how 'bout a quickie?"
"Whaaaaaaaaaaat?" stammers the waitress.
"A quickie, woman, I want a quickie. God I ain't had one in so long...come on I swear I can pay for it."
"I--I don't care if you can pay for...you can't...AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The waitress screams, bursts into tears, and races into the kitchen. And during this whole conversation, Joe is just staaaaaaarin' at Bob in disbelief. He can't believe what his buddy has just _done._ So Joe just stares accusingly at him in silence for a few minutes. Suddenly, he turns away and grabs at his menu. He leafs through it, and then sets it back on the table. After another minute of silence, Joe finally clears his throat: "Dude...I think it's pronounced, 'quiche."

8 and a half years later, I'd just like to say: Fantastic! That cracked me up