h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

These were just sent to me, so I thought I'd share them all:

Two Aerials met on a roof, fell in love, & got married. The ceremony
was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other:
Does this taste funny to you?'

Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it'

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy said to Dolly
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly
"It's true, straight up, no bull!"

Guy goes into the doctor's.
"Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom"
"How's that?"
"Don't you start"

"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's."
"Well you can't say fairer than that then."

So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah."
I said "Why?"
He said "My dog's died.'"

A man spent all his wages in the pub.
He went home, kicked his dog; spat on his kids; slapped his wife; then told her to get herself down to the docks & sell her body to sailors to pay that weeks rent.
She returned the next day and handed her husband £50 and 5p.
The man looked at the cash and said "What measley git gave you 5p?"
The wife replied "They all did".