h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I found your article hilarious, even though I myself am a - what did you say? sick? dysfunctional? individual with group personality. (I am, however, employed, although as a medical microbiologist, so I suppose the word 'dysfunctional' would be somewhat appropriate here) You have, however, neglected the finer aspects of the trombone as an assault weapon - namely, that they have long slides that, unless the trombone player is very, very careful, will deliver hard smacks upon the head of the unfortunate player sitting in front (given that most trombone players are somewhat egoistic, and will take any opportunity to show off their instrument. I know I do); more importantly, that the spit valve serves more than one disgusting function. (one does not actually *need* to use it; the threat to use it itself will usually suffice). also, it is capable of delivering supersonic blasts into a person's ear, and causing massive emotional trauma. Anyway, thought that you might like to elaborate, given your determination to poke fun at yourself and fellow trombonists
Cheers mate, and keep on blasting!