Trombone players(work in progress)
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Trombone Players:
General information:
A much derided group among wind insturmentalists, these sick individuals commonly engage in an ego contest with the trumpets. However, in this case the ego seems to be justified. A trombone is a much more versitile insturment than most of those in an ensemble. It is useful in nearly any style of music. When used as a bat, it also makes a handy weapon.
Common Complaints:
Despite these obvious advantages, the trombone player is often unemployed, requiring society to tolerate the filling of positions more suited to sane people, (such as teachers, directors, bankers, engineers, and writers of silly articles) by these miscreants.
The trombone player is completely incapable of understanding this state of affairs, especially when he or she considers that in smaller ensembles the positions are often filled by lesser (and less deadly) insturments such as trumpets, saxophones, and guitars. While trombone players often will acknowledge that such insturments have their place, the general consensus appears to be that that place should not be one which deprives us of a job.
Of course, the greatest bane of any 'bone, is the trumpet. According to the vast majority of trombone players, these ego driven maniacs are the most useless thing since woodwinds. Their range could easily be compensated for with other insturments, and honestly, even if it couldn't, at least the screeching and the whining about "I could have played that, my lips are just tired," would stop.
General personality traits:
Obviously, no large group of people will consist of identical personalities. This is true of trombone players. However, spending large swaths of time together, as well as a shared activity will tend to create similar charateristics in many of the members of a section. As a whole, trombones tend to be a disturbed group, most likely as a result of their constant (percieved) harrassment at the hands of trumpet players. They often tend to be an overly sexed group, pursuing woodwinds especially. (In one marching band the author is familiar with, piccolos were once known as the trombone national pastime) They tend to favor jokes of the bawdy sort, and occasionally tend to consume too much alcohol. And certianly, 'bones possess egos which match those of any other section.
Author's Note: This is my first entry, and I consider it a work in progress. Any helpful hints would be greatly appreciated, especially from the more experienced researcher.
General information:
A much derided group among wind insturmentalists, these sick individuals commonly engage in an ego contest with the trumpets. However, in this case the ego seems to be justified. A trombone is a much more versitile insturment than most of those in an ensemble. It is useful in nearly any style of music. When used as a bat, it also makes a handy weapon.
Common Complaints:
Despite these obvious advantages, the trombone player is often unemployed, requiring society to tolerate the filling of positions more suited to sane people, (such as teachers, directors, bankers, engineers, and writers of silly articles) by these miscreants.
The trombone player is completely incapable of understanding this state of affairs, especially when he or she considers that in smaller ensembles the positions are often filled by lesser (and less deadly) insturments such as trumpets, saxophones, and guitars. While trombone players often will acknowledge that such insturments have their place, the general consensus appears to be that that place should not be one which deprives us of a job.
Of course, the greatest bane of any 'bone, is the trumpet. According to the vast majority of trombone players, these ego driven maniacs are the most useless thing since woodwinds. Their range could easily be compensated for with other insturments, and honestly, even if it couldn't, at least the screeching and the whining about "I could have played that, my lips are just tired," would stop.
General personality traits:
Obviously, no large group of people will consist of identical personalities. This is true of trombone players. However, spending large swaths of time together, as well as a shared activity will tend to create similar charateristics in many of the members of a section. As a whole, trombones tend to be a disturbed group, most likely as a result of their constant (percieved) harrassment at the hands of trumpet players. They often tend to be an overly sexed group, pursuing woodwinds especially. (In one marching band the author is familiar with, piccolos were once known as the trombone national pastime) They tend to favor jokes of the bawdy sort, and occasionally tend to consume too much alcohol. And certianly, 'bones possess egos which match those of any other section.
Author's Note: This is my first entry, and I consider it a work in progress. Any helpful hints would be greatly appreciated, especially from the more experienced researcher.
