Santa in Ozland

3 Conversations

In my country, Australia, Santa is seen somewhat as the village idiot. As temperatures reach the high thirties' (celsius), the silly man in the red woollen suit can be seen on city pavements in full arctic regalia. He is usually sweating profusely, and every few hours he will consume another can of beer. By the end of the festival, Santa is drunk, dehydrated, and very difficult to communicate with.

The sleigh and reindeer are usually replaced by the town's fire engine. The two main reasons for this are the fact that the chassis of the firetruck is the same shade of red as Santa's breeches, and also the fact that Christmas falls into Mother Nature's annual cycle of Bushfires. Another facet to the absence of reindeer is the high price per kilo of venison. They wouldn't make it 30km without being culled, spit roasted and served with spring onions and potatoes!

It's not that Santa isn't appreciated; folklore tells of creations to replace the cultural icon...St Mick the ***** with the 10 foot...well, it wasn't too successful; and a Santa wearing singlet and shorts just isn't mistifying enough.

If any of you researchers have any comments on how to further develop our yule tide culture, please feel free to reply!


27.12.99. Front Page

Back Issue Page

Bookmark on your Personal Space



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry

Written by



h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more