h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Pinnipeds:

No changes suggested.

G

All addressed - thank you very much! I've also added some links to those Entries, and will try to find more as the project gets closer to completion. Thanks again!

Rodents

Again you keep switching between "it" and "they" when describing the animals.


You have:

"in Britain, species belong to either:"

followed by a list of two types. But there is no "or" between them, so you can't really use "either" in this way. You could say "belong to either of two types:"

Rattus norveticus --> Rattus norvegicus

Neither the brown (or Norway) rat Rattus norveticus or black rat -->
Neither the brown (or Norway) rat Rattus norvegicus nor black rat

peoples’ homes --> people's homes

by their tail, which will be half or less than half the length of its body -->
by their tail, which will be half or less than half the length of their body

well-buried in its fur -- add a full stop

but the two are fairly easy to differentiate -- it's not clear what "the two" are, here. Is it water voles and rats, or water voles and water rats?

G

A13502422 - Mammal Surveying

Whether in your garden on local nature reserve -- change on to or

Who: The recorder was --> Who the recorder was

and the same for the other lines in the list.

Since you talk about sexing, you should use the word sex rather than gender, I think.

whethger --> whether

G

A10892126 - Overview

The overview looks a bit sparse in some areas and overly detailed in others.


Vertebrata. These are creatures which have vertebrates -- No, in fact, these are creatures which have vertebrae, but I think this is still a bit technical. These are creatures which have a backbone, a long flexible bone running the length of their body and composed of vertebrae.

The list of deer is inconsistent in singular and plural - you say

Red deer was introduced, Sika deer were introduced, Fallow deer were introduced, Roe deer was hunted etc.

"All terrestrial British carnivores belong to the Mustelidae family, which is the largest grouping of carnivores in the world. " -- that contradicts what you say in the Carnivores entry.

Mustela lutreaola -- my encyclopaedia gives it as lutreola.

Microchoptera --> Microchiroptera

G

I presume the Odd-toes, Even-toes and Whales are not ready for review yet.

Sorry, I've wasted a bit of your time on the Overview entry - I should have pointed out that, as it says on the project page, it will be the last one to be completed. I wrote the bare bones to keep track of what I was doing, but the whole thing needs pretty much starting again - when I started, I wasn't sure how to approach it, and I think it shows in the Overview! I'll come back here and check those pointshyaven't escaped the re-write when I do it, though.

I've had some good pointers on the cetaceans today from the project leader at the Trust today - it's very difficult to define which are native and which aren't. We think the best way would be to talk about the dozen or so species people are likely to see from the shore. Even-toes are very much a work in progress, and the only odd-toes are domesticated horses, so I'll probably just crop them out of the project apart from a short mention in the Overview.

Thanks for your help!

The whole thing is now complete

The project page is A14530312.

I think the only Entries you haven't seen completed are A16299417 (artiodactyls), A10892126 (overview) and A17436170 (cetaceans). I've made all the changes you pointed out last time, though If you get chance, I'd appreciate it if you could have a read!

Keep nudging and I'll get around to looking at these eventually. Not tonight though. It's 00:01 and I've just had a pint of beer.

Will do, thanks very much!

Enjoy the beer, and I'll give you a nudge over the weekend

I forgot to nudge you!

I've asked for Alex to get editing rights, but obviously the Entries will be submitted to Peer Review anyway - hope you can find time to comment on them there.

Sorry for being so slack...

Here are my suggested changes. I'll try and remember to post them in Peer Review when the entries get there.

Artiodactyls

Your discussion of even-toed assumes that the reader knows all mammals evolved from a five-toed animal. If they don't know this, your description of animals as only having the third and fourth toe doesn't make much sense.

which sets a "close season" -- should that be "closed season"?

"various attempts to reintroduce them failed in medieval times before recent escapees from farms have developed into a few wild populations around the country" -- this sound clumsy, with mixed tenses. Split it into two:

various attempts to reintroduce them failed in medieval times. Recent escapees from farms, however, have developed into a few wild populations around the country

"Known as elk in other parts of the world" -- I believe this is misleading, as elk in Northern Europe are Moose. But I'm not sure.

Their antlers can stretch up to a metre in width -- this suggests a span of a metre, where in fact they span two metres between the two antlers.

"as the hybrid the species produce is infertile" -- this is clunky because of the confusion over whether you mean singular species or plural species. It would be plainer just to say "the hybrid is infertile".

"this is illegal under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 to do this" -- remove the phrase "to do this".

treated closing the gates as a low priority...
Ending a sentence with three dots is ok in a conversation, but not in an Edited Entry.


Cetaceans

it is similar in size to human adult -->
it is similar in size to a human adult

to go to watch whalesare the Western Isles -- insert space after whales

Overview

from which domesticated weasels are evolved -- do you mean ferrets?

by sticking using only 'sub' --> by sticking to using only 'sub'

G

Thanks Gnomon! I've asked Alex to come and take a look, as he now has the subbing rights. You're right as usual in all of those above, though

Domesticated weasels indeed

Sorted

Blimey, that was quick!

Thanks.

Rich, did you ever do a word count on your project? I'm wondering how many words I should write for my project. It seems to be coming out at about 20,000.

My Royal Navy 'project' came to 18,747 words and that wasn't even meant to be a project...

I didn't actually! I've just counted a few of the Entries in their draft version, and I reckon it must be about 10-12,000 words. I just wrote until I thought I'd covered everything - maybe you've just got more to write about than me?

I just wanted to check I wasn't writing far too little. My project covers 1,200 years of history so at 20,000 words, it's only 16 words per year!

Mine works out at about 250 words per mammal, which doesn't sound much either!