h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The presumptuous notion put forward to suggest that Giant Prawns are in fact one of
natures safer creatures not to be confused by their name, which suggests danger, fear
and overgrown beanstalks, is utter tripe!

I was in East Preston, Sussex, minding my own business whilst taking a leak in a public
lavatory when, to my horror, this Giant Prawn towering above me at about eight feet tall
and cunningly disguised as George Michael walked in. He paid no attention to me but
instead proceeded straight for the end cubical pulling the locked door from its hinges.
The poor pensioner, white with fright, stood there helpless his trousers round his ankles
and propped up against his Zimmer frame while the evil prawn ripped his arms off and
continued to beat him about the head until the man was close to death with only a dribble
from the corner of his mouth suggesting any last signs of life. With that the Giant Prawn
left jumping into his Range Rover and crippling a mother and her baby as he sped away...