h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Does anyone have days when events seem to be conspiring against you in a way that makes you believe that here is some malevolent force in the universe.
It might be something as small as a bag bursting and spilling contents, when pressed for time.
If you do have these times, are they down to sheer luck or do you think it’s our own thoughts and actions that predict the events?
Do you think that nervous people or those that lack confidence are more susceptible?

Hi r4,

I reckon these kinds of thoughts are what caused people to develop religions and beliefs in a 'higher power' in the first place.

Yeah, shit happens, and good things also happen.

It sounds a bit superstitious (or paranoid?) to think that *everything* that happens to you on a day-to-day basis is somehow your fault, or even has anything to do with you at all.

Possibly in many cases our own actions do end up with a somewhat predicable event. For example, last spring I severed a tendon in my finger because I was very impatiently re-arranging my sofa cover. If I hadn't been so impatient at the time maybe that wouldn't have happened.

What about when good things happen? Do you 'blame' yourself for those too?

I think the only way nervous people end up with 'bad luck' stuff happening to them is because they aren't paying enough attention, or are paying attention to the 'wrong' things.

az

Hi Az ,
Thanks for your reply.

Personally I think that thoughts and feelings influence actions and to that extent we bring our own luck, good or bad.
I was fascinated that two people view the same situation or even physical object, with totally different views.
An emotional intelligence course made me realise it's what we bring with us in terms of upbringing and experience that gives us a personal view.
Take the point about religions though, it's easy to attribute things to a "higher power".
Reason for asking about nervous people is that they tend to be more emotionally polarised.
R4

I don't know what you mean by 'emotionally polarised'.

Clearly our thoughts and feelings influence our actions ... then again, what might seem like 'bad luck' in one moment might turn out to be the best thing that could have happened.

az

Hi Az,
By 'emotinally polarised' I mean they tend to be either rather down or over the top happy.

True things might seem like bad luck and turn out to be the best thing ever. But what changes, the event or the perception of it?

If it's thoughts and feelings then we are capable of affecting the way we percieve things without external influence.

R4

I don't think that specifically applies to 'nervous people'. I think I'm a rather nervous person, but I don't tend to go to extremes. Just to say that it's hard to pidgeon-hole people because of how they might seem to be.

Yes, sometimes things that seem like very bad luck end up being the best thing that could have happened. And what changes can either be the perception of it or simply what happens afterwards as a result of the supposed 'bad luck' thing happening.

Do you really think we can perceive anything without any other influences?

az

Hi Az,
I too am relatively nervous person.

There are probably lots of influences. I just wonder if we can control how we percieve?
Do you think we can change situations just by chnaging the way we think about them?

R4

<>

Dunno, but I *do* know it's "I before E except after C", so that should be *perceive* ... sorry, it's the English teacher in me.

And yes, I do think we can change a lot of situations by the way we think about them. Don't you?

az

Hi Az,
Guilty as charged, more of a maths person myself

I do think we can change the way we think, but find the real problem is letting go of our pre-conceptions.

Being positive is like medicene, it has to be taken frequently to be effective. As a race we always seem to look for 'bad news'.

I recall how the evening news used to end with a " now on a lighter note" a more upbeat article to counter all the negative reports.Today you dont get anything like that.

Not sure I have any answers but it's interesting to know how others feel about the subject.

r4

Thought you might like this - something I posted on my blog awhile ago...


10 VIRTUALLY INSTANT WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

Many of our problems come from within our own minds. They aren’t caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits. Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you.

* Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases people’s difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they’re thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.

* Don’t dramatize. Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either don’t exist or are so insignificant they aren’t worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, it’s silly as well as destructive.

* Don’t invent rules. A huge proportion of those “oughts” and “shoulds” that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. What’s the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot.

* Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations. The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See what’s there. Don’t label. You’ll be surprised at what you find.

* Quit being a perfectionist. Life isn’t all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and you’ll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and you’ll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained.

* Don’t over-generalize. One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesn’t turn you into a genius. A single event—good or bad—or even two or three don’t always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more.

* Don’t take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren’t talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don’t especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren’t personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.

* Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy. How you feel isn’t always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won’t change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren’t the truth.

* Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic. If you expect bad things in your life and work, you’ll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It’s amazing what isn’t there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you’ll find those too.

* Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you.


Originally from an article posted here ...
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/10-virtually-instant-ways-to-improve-your-life.html


az

Heya Az,

Thanks, It all looks sensbile stuff to me

R4

You know, if this post got moved to Ask H2G2 you'd probably a lot more response - I don't think many people are subscribed to this place.

az

Hi Az,

Thanks again, good point.
I just need to find out how that works.
R4

I think I got subscribed to here a long time ago from that God (fact or fiction) debate even though I don't contribute very much to it anymore because it still gives you some stuff to look at and things to read when I get bored.

And yes, I have some days like that too.
And then I found out that force's name was my mother because she is very good at throwing into a panic and turning my emotions upside down because I think something is going to kill her, that she has just injured herself, or whatever just because she is a bit too overdramatic sometimes.
Oops.

and I tend to be from more of a sciences background.

see? Sometimes a lot of what happens to you can be explained in terms of your mindset and what people who you live with do to you without thinking or meaning to.

When things outside of your control happen to you then the only real sane thing to do is react and adjust yourself accordingly to either make do without whatever it was that just got wrecked or get along in spite of it. Even if that does mean to forge an entirely new path sometimes. You see?

That's what keeps me from losing my mind I think.
If I just depended on expecting things to always work the way they should I'd have long lost it completely by now. Keep in mind you are hearing this from someone who is willing to admit that he has a few bats in the belfry so to speak too .

Hey Thorn,

Thanks, I do go with the flow most of the time. Like you say it's the people you live with that have a big effect on you.

Guess one thing about middle age is your body is telling you should slow down so a is a good idea .

r4

Too much !
Yeah.
My dad tells me maybe I'll calm down when I'm older. At least if I'm still alive by then.

But when people are middle-aged they get a better perspective on things maybe than older-older people or young adults at some things. I think. And I'm not sure why.