h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Welcome one and all to the celebratory Birthday feast for the Queen of Balwyniti, Alien!

The setting is the great hall of the palace. Long tables are set out, filled with copious amounts of food of all descriptions, specially prepared by the Elves. Any dish may be made to order, the weirder the better. All four original Beetles are present to take requests, and the six Pythons have reformed for the occasion to perform any skit.

Other activities include sneezing contests, the crocodile walk of death, and or course bad (and good ) Karaoke singing. If any other ideas spring to mind, feel free to add them to the programme, on the proviso that they are weird.

So stop reading, plunge out and enjoy the celebrations, as we celebrate the anniversary of the birth of the most wonderful and sweet and special and...person I have ever met - my Queen, Alien.

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Queenie,
Happy Birthday to you!

Penblwydd hapus i ti
penblwydd hapus i ti
penblwydd hapus annwyl Queenie
penblwydd hapus i ti!

Hip hip - huzzah!
hip hip - huzzah!
hip hip - huzzah!

G'day, m'lord, nice bit of Welsh there...

thankyouverymuchladeezungennelmun

No worries I see everyone's being traditionally late...

::Slides into the hall, wearing a VERY MUCH SPARKLY outfit with more sequins than twenty disco balls... errr... that'd be mirrors... but nevermind!!!! She is the epitome of rock and roll::

::She sings:: THEY SAY IT'S Your Birthday!!!
It's my birthday, too, yeah!!!

Penblwydd hapus i ti, hefyd, St Dragonfly!

You look gr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-reat!!

Have a and a ciggie!



*Lord livzy HAS managed to somehow get his tobacco contraband through the security!*

Umm... What's all the fuss here about??

IT'S ALL FOR YOU!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

::Offers her birthday cheesecake::

::"accidentally" steps on her ciggie:: OOps... sorry... I'm quite anti-smoking, even virtual smoking...

My birthday? Awwww you shouldn't have...

WE HAD TO!!!

*trumpets blare*

Everyone, I would like to officially announce....The Queen!

Welcome, my Queen...and Happy Birthday. This feast is in your honour, on this splendiforous occasion, all of your loyal subjects come together to revel in your majesterial splendour, and I come to declare to the world what a special half elven witch you are

Let the festivities begin!

Awww... This is all too much... You almost make me...

*Lord Livzy jumps up on the karaoke stage and gives his world famous rendition of Elvis' "The Wonder of You" complete with snarling, lip-curls and hip swivelling. The audience goes wild and Lord Livzy follows up with an equally storming performance of "Mustang Sally"*

Anyone else want a go before I end up sining all night?!

It's only just beginning...

Now, fellow subjects, enjoy yourselves, the Queen and I must briefly away, but I'm sure you all know how to have fun...

And, not to be too non-benevolent, but *no* drinking or smoking...these things simply do not exist in the Kingdom...

Eat, drink () and be merry!

YAY!!! I sooo love my Kingy!!!

*Lord Livzy dives back on stage and sings the great karaoke classic "It's not unusual" The female contingent of the audience begin throwning knickers on stage. Lord Livzy collects these up and kindly donates them to the local charity shop*

Phwoar - hard act to follow, Livzy.

Maybe I'll sing a duett with you when I've had a few. I can do without the Y-fronts being thrown at me though.

::giggles::

::runs to the bathroom to make sure she still has her undies::

The only duets to sing at karaoke are either "Dead Ringer for Love -Cher and Meatloaf" or "You're the One That I Want - John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John"

Or we could just do both?

Waddjya reckon? Up for it?
Here have another or two!