h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Follow the "Way of the Salamander" and all will be right.

Amy

Thanks Crescent. I did put the quote in italics to start with but it looked all wobbly and difficult to read so I took the italic tags out. I'll prepare to wait now.

Amy and Shorn, it's nice to know we're all simpatico on the subject of bugs now.

I don't think lenth of an article is an issue at all. It's only long if it's boring. If it's not boring, it isn't long enough. Sort of.

This one's perfect. Interesting all the way thorugh

Our Final Skin: After an early August stormy morning/one finds discarded skins of cicada./the pupa split old seems-of-self/some emerginging green wet-ready prey to birds./can those who lingered/while their wings lacquered/hard and tough in their final skin/ be true to themselves/as they shriek a primal mating cry/while trees are cut and roots rot away? MM Cicadas Rule!

Thanks Haze. All credit to the cicadas for being such uncommonly interesting little critters.

And Micheal. Loved the poem. Did you write it? If so you're a clever and soulful Mole. If not, well done for finding it. Anyone who finds themselves unmoved by bugs should read it. 'S lovely.

Thanks kindly Salamander! Yes its mine. I wrote it several years ago. I have been fascinated by insects all my life, especially cicadas. Spending so much of my life underground gives me a lot in common with cicadas. I'm currently attempting a poem on the praying (preying) mantis. It is virtually the only insect that can turn its' head to look over its' shoulder. Unless you want to include arachnids, mantids are also one of the few species whose female eats its' mate. I have observed a female eat at least three mates. They always start with the head; the whole while the male continues to fertilise his lover! . I'm full of esoterica about bugs so have lots of inspiration for poems. But I like to juxtapose them to the human condition. Bugs are sending us a message if we will only listen. Thanks for reading my poem and giving it some thought, as you clearly did. MM

If you people enjoyed this yarn, then you will love this one (especially Amy) http://www.h2g2.com/A447662

Whoopee! This entry is great, and it has now gone into the Editorial Process for future inclusion in the Edited Guide. When it does get into the Edited Guide, we will email to let you know!

Well done

Micheal, some "lady" octopuses eat their mates. It doesn't seem very friendly does it? Still, it makes good sense when you get past the bad manners aspect of the act. If the male isn't going to hang around and help you raise the kids, he might as well contribute his protein. I think ordinary little flies, like house flies can turn their heads round 180 degrees. With their compound eyes and head turning ability giving them excellent all-round vision, it makes me wonder why they keep bumping into me. Got their minds on other things I guess. When you've finished the mantis poem (if you don't mind) I'd like to read it.

Loonytunes, the Small Food entry was interesting and (as you could anticipate) revolting. Nauseating as I may find the idea of eating bugs, I still think it's a good article. Thing is, I'm a vegetarian in any case. I've often commented to my omnivorous friends who eat things like prawns, that I can't see how it's much different to eating cockroaches. I sure don't like the idea of boiling or freezing animals alive (especially boiling). Unlike mantis-girl mentioned above, we have empathy and a concept of cruelty and if I was a meat eater, I'd be keen to ensure my prey died quickly and painlessly. By the way, I know Amy's an omnivore but I feel certain she isn't a cannibal.

Thank you very much Krans. You've made me a very happy Mugwump. May your woggle be blessed!

Hi Salamander! I wasn't aware that octopuses also indulged in their mates' flesh. Yeah, if "Pop" isn't going to stick around to raise the kids he can at least contribute some food. Concerning the fly: yes he can rotate his head 180 degrees BUT can he then nod his head vertically while at full 180 degrees rotation? I think not. If you get the chance try to observe the two at the same time in the same place. (I have many thousands of times) This ability gives the mantis a great advantage over the fly. 90% of the time the fly ends up on the dinner menu. I have a poem about flies but its long and I am not satisfied with it otherwise I would post it. If and when I finish the mantid poem I would be honored to post it, but darn, poetry is hard work. The final version of "Our Final Skin" took almost a year to produce. Sometime I'll have to tell you about my pet jumping spiders Oscar and Gomez. They were "free range" and left home long ago. And sometime, just to get Amy's goat, I'm goint to attmept an "ant" poem!

A poem about ants? How lovely!

Congratulations, Sal. You didn't have to wait long in the end. Just as well since I have resigned from the Scouts due to pressure of work.

I must mention this octopus thing to the Child Support Agency.

Yes, the "Ant" poem will be a haiku or a villanelle. But the poem will seek its' own form, I can't impose one. The Muse is very demanding. I notice lots of changes at h2g2; hope I can keep up with them. I am making an effort to learn GuideML & HTML. Perhaps the unrational world of poetry is an impedement in the cyberworld of exactitude. The odd thing is my uncle worked for IBM and helped write cobal and fortran. He had a PhD in semantics; UCLA. So I guess I have the ability (genetically) but not the patience. I'll keep plugging away!

No, you're right Micheal. I'm fairly sure flies can't nod their heads vertically whilst turned backwards. I've never seen a mantis in the flesh. We Brits (much to the relief of many) are somewhat bug-deprived. We don't have anything as exotic as a mantis - well not in the wild at least. I can see how the unfortunate fly is going to end up as a reluctant dinner guest.

I have no talent as a poet so I admire it all the more in others. I look forward to hearing about your jumping spiders and, when they're ready for an audience, your mantis and ant poems.

Thanks Amy. Sorry to hear you're not a scout any more. I'm on the verge of feeling I'm almost ready to volunteer. I've been practising and digging deep, as you advised.

D'you suppose a report of the mate-noshing mums-to-be might give the CSA some ideas for extracting useful contributions from non-contributing dads? Now there's a thought.

No Mantids in the UK? Salamander I am going to have to mail you an egg pod, not the body-snatching kind . I wonder why no mantids there? I doubt its the climate. There are many varieties here in Nebraska, although since they are like chameleons its hard to tell one species from another. Bugs galore over here. Very few are real pests. Another of my favourites is the Ant Lion (oops! sorry Amy). They are also called "doodle bugs" because in their nymph phase they scurry around the dirt butt-first leaving little "doodle" trails in the dust. The Ant Lion builds little tiny volcanos and bury themselves in the central depression. As the poor ant (or any bug) passes by the Lion actually throws bits of dirt at the ant to knock it into the volcano at which point the Lion grabs the poor ant and sucks it dry. When it is ready to pupate the Lion crawls up a twig, sheds its' skin and an amazingly frail lacewing (damselfly) emerges. It mates, lays its' eggs in the dirt, dies, and the whole process is repeated. There is a "Jekyll and Hyde" type poem possible there. I, too, am sorry to see Amy resign as a scout But I understand. She is a very busy young ant considering her work on h2g2's Museum, her PhD, and Graphic Ants. I wish I had her energy and talent. I am greatly indebted to her. I'll tell you about Boris & Gomez later. Just now I'm waiting for inspiration: Hey Muse! Where you?

No, I've never come across a British Mantis Micheal. I guess you could probably get them in exotic pet shops and zoos probably keep a few. Our climate is temperate and getting warmer all the time. We haven't had a proper winter with ice and lying snow for ages. Maybe some pet and zoo specimens could escape and survive. After all, kangaroos could live in South America or Africa if they could get there, find suitable food and survive the predators.

The Ant Lion sounds brilliant - a really interesting insect. Even the cutest little animals have to eat something (sorry Amy, I'm sure they don't eat security officers), it doesn't make them bad people! Have you considered doing a guide entry on them. If you write the Ant Lion poem, you could include it with an informative article. I'd love to read it/them. It would be nice to be able to go to h2g2's Natural History Museum and find sections on plants and animals and some of their weird and wonderful survival strategies. It's up to us - the researchers, to produce the entries.

I think Amy must occupy a distorted time zone where there's 30 hours in a day. I don't know how else she can manage to get so much work done. Busy busy busy ...

Editorial Note: This thread has been moved out of the Peer Review forum because this entry has now been recommended for the Edited Guide.

I do believe we have been honored fellow exoskeleton experts! Sorry I have been lagging behind the postings; I am "molting" my way through 100 history essay exams. I'm beginning to feel like a pocket gopher AND a mole. I never see the sun! All this talk about bugs and stuff has got my juices flowing. I am eager to share all my insect stories with all who care to listen. I just have to make some time. I was assigned to a committee at the University (administrative busy-work) that is eating into my h2g2 research time Here is a bit of trivia to hold you until I can put together a serious entery: have you ever seen a cicada molt TWO skins at the same time? It's very rare and almost always fatal to the poor cicada. I acted midwife to one of these unfortunate mutants once. Sadly, I couldn't save it. Oh, it lived but its' wings were mangled so it could never fly. An adult cicada lives only to fly and mate. It never eats in the adult phase: it has no mouth. The "stinger" you see on it is useless on the male but is used by the female to "notch" a twig into which she lays her eggs. Contrary to popular belief it does no harm to the host plant. I kept the poor wingless mutant but, unable to eat, or unable to fly and mate (no, I WILL NOT STUD service a cicada though I admit the thought crossed my mind) I felt I was being cruel. I kept it in a box with fresh leaves and water but it died after 7 days (as it would have anyway). Talk to you all again soon! MM

All those history exams, you poor Mole! And that poor cicada too! You've had me rummaging around through all the cicada stuff I could find looking for something about this moulting problem. I thought I'd read something similar or vaguely related to your double moult story and here it is, by Paul Boyer: "The procedure does not always go on without mishap. Frequently a cicada will emerge too early, and low temperatures will slow its activity, so that it will not manage to get out of its nymph-shell before its new exoskeleton hardens. such hapless individuals find themselves encased forever in an unwanted shell, and if they are not eaten by predators, they eventually expire. Others may crawl free of the nymph-shell, but not before the wings have prematurely hardened in uninflated condition: these are the crippled, flightless individuals, who also have little chance of living a full cicada-life." Ahh, that's so sad. Poor little dudes.

On the subject of adults never feeding, the literature seems to have a slightly different view. Perhaps it depends on the specific species of cicada but Chris Simon (whose research papers seem to abound) says that "both adult and nymphal periodical cicadas feed on xylem fluids and have similar digestive organs". I've been left with the impression though, that although the adults can and do feed, they very often don't. It could depend on how long they live after breeding because although they normally die very soon after, some individuals continue to live for a week or so. Perhaps if you'd made your invalid a nice cup of soup he could have had a little slurp of it before pegging out.

Probably best not provide a "stud service". If you do it for one then they'll all be demanding it.

Hi Salamander! Yes those poor cicadas who cannot get out of their shells fast enough are more common then the "double molt" variety. And yes, the article is correct, it is always fatal (or food). I will confess I may be wrong about the adult feeding (and probably am). Now that I think of it, the mouth of the nymph is identical to the adult. But of the many thousands I have observed only a very few ever even try to stick its' probe in a plant except to lay eggs. Nor have I ever seen an adult "excrete". But I readily admit my error. I wish I were young again. In my youth I would spend whole months observing and collecting specimens. Here in Nebraska we have only two of the many species: The more common 7 year cicada and the rarer 17 year cicada. They are easily distinguished: the 17 year cicada has bright red eyes! Rather spooky . You get cicadas every year because "broods" alternate so that one ecological disaster won't wipe out the whole species. Here is a fact of which I am 100% sure: have you ever examined those shells closely and noticed "white threads" protruding from the inside? Those "white threads" are the shedded skin of the insides of the cicadas" lungs! 'Tis a fact! About those 100 exams: perhaps I should stud some cicadas and teach them to grade exams! Some students these days are soooo ignorant. One student was convinced that World War II never happened. Another was quite sure the USA had A-bombed Japan in 1973! Some others have no concept of "BC" and "AD" (or, to be politically correct BCE & ACE--god I hate political correctness!). So perhaps cicadas can grade some of my exams! Must run, see 'ya all later! MM