One of the basic tenets of the UnderGuide is that it is an inclusive body, accepting all sorts of folks - anyone at all really. However, there is a sort of vernacular down in the mines and in the pub afterwards. In an attempt to make the words of old hands accessible to new folks, we now present a guide to UnderGuide Jargon.

• The mines are the depths of the Alternative Writing Workshop (AWW). The Miners look in the AWW as frequently as they can, and look deep into the past, into the mire of old entries, as well as new, to find great entries - or gems.

• The Pig and Slag is our name for the UnderGuide offsite Yahoo! forum. It is in the style of an English pub, named for two words from miner (the real life kind) jargon. A pig is some sort of lead bar and slag is the refuse material left over from smelting. This name was suggested by a very nice lady from an obscure zinc-mining town somewhere in the US. It has a fully functional bar, and when you are inducted into mining, you are entitled to any drink (don't worry about paying for it, it's put on the sheep's (see below) tab.

• The Initiation Ceremony is something performed (or talked about, but never really performed) on all new members in the UnderGuide. What happens is a secret, but let's just say it involves a barrel of used socks, a large tub of oil, a burlap bag and a buttered squirrel. Plus many other things. It may destroy your soul. Hint - before you join, bring your own burlap sack, because ours smells of many terrible things we shan't discuss here. Traditionally, the newest editor has to fetch the supplies for these ceremonies. He also has to put the beaver back in its cage when we're finished - which is easier said than done.

• The editorial washroom is a fabulous, rumored place whispered about among the miners, who are barred from it. Editors are given a key to the washroom, and upon entrance, see a marble paradise, complete with herds of virgin sheep, ionic columns and an Emperor's throne - and an Emperor's urinal too! Some have been known to seek editorship purely to see if it's true that liquid gold comes from one of the faucets. It's not true, but there are stained-glass windows of sheep, and statues... of sheep. You can find a sort of map of the UG here.

• The sheep is Jodan - one of the editors. He has a very big ego, as you will no doubt see from the various paintings of famous sheep throughout the UG offices (and tattoos in some orifices). The seal, or seal-boy is Pinniped. The lammergeier is Waz - don't worry, we don't know how to spell it either.