h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

a camcorder, as requested by Gosh


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Beautiful, MG! Just don't point it over here...please!

*ox is very comfortable in torn blue jeans and soft old flannel shirt*

You're a bloody marvel MG
Ummmm... you remember that thing I asked you to do again a while ago Mathnerd, which you did, and with an enormous amount of grace and agility I might add? Well, we have a camcorder now, so I need you to do it again The camera's running, so, whenever you're ready. It'll go right into the procrastinator's archives, so you know it's for a good cause I'm a qualified masseur if your wings need rubbing afterwards.

argh! what i put up with... *rolls eyes*

okay, LAST TIME!


::flies into the air, hovers by the door, downing s::
::gets drunk, passes out, falls to the ground::
THUD

now i DO want a back/wing rub because they hurt like hell. i'm not truly either, so that doesn't help.

happy now at least i hope.

Now I understand the Flophouse bit.

Hey folks - I've put off Subeditting and updating the GerManiaConnection - things I owe to people - to write an Entry on the most boring thing in the world.

Filing! http://www.h2g2.com/A495984

What does that make me?

While you're thinking about answering, please hand me a

*settles into corner with book and *

a weird filing geek.
here have another . it's stiffer than most, my own mix

*pours a little glob of scented oil onto each of Mathnerd's wings and begins smooth, soothing massage strokes*
Thank you Mathnerd, that act of hardship won't go unforgotten around here, especially if we show the video often enough

*sigh* you're welcome gooshoo.
::stretches wings out wide::
ahhhh, that feels good. they've been tight ever since the battle with the demons.
oh, and watch the cut on the lower left wing, the clone Y4K cut me with his lightsaber.....

Ah, I have just the thing for that
*whips out a small jar of strange-smelling ointment and rubs a little around the cut*
It might sting at first, but it'll feel real good after a few minutes, and it'll help the wing to heal You really should be more careful around those pesky demons - you never know where their lightsabers have been

hmmm
::stretches wings::
OW, it does sting.
it's tho now...

thanks gooshoo.

hmmmm
::happily stretches::
i'm so happy to be here, pass a please.

oh gooshoo, when you're done, will you do something silly and let me tape it on the cam? it would be good for posterity
come on.... you know you want to!

Umm, I shouldn't really.... er, oh, hmmm..... well, ok then I could teach you a few excercises and stretches to keep those wings supple too if you like. It should help you to avoid those demons more easily. Oh, and I'll have I think. Do you need a ?

yes please, i would love a .

and do teach me some stretches.

and don't worry, i'll keep you to the promise of a record of your weirdness.

I just updated the membership list, and I think I got everyone on there (and maybe even in order of joining too , but if anyone's name is missing, let me know - I'm always looking for a good reason to procrastinate I'll prolly get around to updating everyone's names soon too. If I didn't forget anyone, there are 32 confirmed procrastinators now, plus two more who are thinking about it (not to mention the thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands who haven't even gotten around to making an enquiry yet ). We may need to build an extension to The Palace soon!

nah, no hurry. we can always stack people, see?
::sits on gooshoo's lap::

and besides, adding an extension involves w*rk! i'm shocked you, of all people, would suggest such a thing!

Hey, we're procrastinators, not lazy b******s . We'll do anything, even hard work if it means putting off something else that we'd rather not be doing right now. I think you need to read The Society's page again
*starts massaging Mathnerd's shoulders*
This should relieve any tension you have there Mathnerd. And whilst I have you there, can you remind me of that formula that goes something like x=4ac plus or minus the square root of something or other minus something else all over 2a, and what it's for?

ahh, well, see, i AM a lazy b*****d too, so i get scared by the mention of w*rk. but you should be able to bribe me with a few s.

oooohhhh, nice..... my shoulders, neck and back are a mass of knots from being at home and flying so much here.

and you want the quadratic formula which goes as follows:
if you have a quadratic equation of the form: ax^2 + bx + c = 0
the solutions are x={[-b +/- Sqrt(b^2 - 4ac)]/2a}
they can be real or imaginary depending on what you get inside of your sqrt.

does that help?

Ummmm........ ok . Oh, half a mo.... yeah, I see it now. I used to really enjoy solving quadratic equations, and I loved alg. and trig., but I wasn't really good enough at it to take it further. All other areas of maths are a fog to me, so much so that I think I must be numerically dyslexic. If I'm serving someone at the store, and their total comes to, say, $9.34, and they give me $10, so that their change is $0.66, and then they say "Oh, here's $0.16", then I'm completely bollocksed. I don't know whether to add something to something else, or subtract something else from the same thing, or what! Ah bugger it, I'll have another

sorry if i'm a bit obscure with math. feel free to ask more questions, and if necessary have me re explain it. that goes for anyone.

yes, and other forms of alcohol are the soln's to all our problems! i'll have some and another .