h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

dudley isn't any mo(o)re

* notices the blue and orange cloud rising from WR 's boots *

Dudley Moore wasn't even an American.

*Backs away from WR's boots and their
seeping and rising coloured cloud whose gradual swirling is forming a blowing blue and oranage flames*

okay, how come i wasn't given any of those drugs

i wouldn't take those if i was you, linus. i heard they were derived from the gland secretions of sexually mature tunnel web s

You've met my twin sisters then?

Is it still safe to smoke here?

only afterwards

Did we decorate the yet?

.. sorry .. I wasn't paying attention, I didn't have any small change. Who smoked the ??

'twasn't me



, that's just a - a - a heartburn

*Puts a protective hand over his *

nope, still wasn't me

If one smoked a would one then be filled with peace and goodwill?

*Looks at Pierce* I don't think he did it as he's still crabby..

.. he's off for two weeks .. poor Pierce, two weeks no w*rk, just boredom, nothingness..

...*the alley door SLAMS open...an out of breath Pandora stands holding one end of a dead fir tree...*
Lookie everyone~!I found a pretty, brown Christmas tree!
I thought, why not shake things up a lil' an' have a brown tree.
...*she turns to stand the tree up only to find all the needles are gone!...*

Ohmyhell~!Some one went and made off with all those needle thingies that we hang the whatcha'macallits from! poopy-butt.
...*sits at the bar with a wee tumbler of rum...*
First year I don't run like a mad woman to help the police catch a thief and the needles are stolen ... ... right from under my nose.
Well, at least I made it in time.
Police-I've-been-bad~!...*whispers*...for those who don't speak Spanish, Merry Christmas~!

It's Fleece-nah-vee-dah!

That's a Larch, which is why the needles have fallen off. You need to find a spruce or a fir. Good luck. I'll be here organising the decorations.

oh, the needles and the damage done

a larch ?? I suppose it's no good smoking the needles?