h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Who needs an Antonio when we have Bob the Dinosaur?

makes a change

sits in a corner well fed up - Just 'cos that hound is bigger than me it's getting all the attention - mutters something about size 'aint everything ...

ok ok ..

* fills Shirps' bowl with *

I can scratch your ears as well if you want to

mmm yes please

..

* scratches Shirps' ears and chin *

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm luvverley - more, more - just at the side of my neck - oooh that's nice

at Jake

*takes off the nosmokingzone-sign MariRae had put up and carries it outside*

What should I be careful about, carrying this out?

*doesn't smoke outside...*

Quite right too - it adds to the smog

*sets 42 free on the floor*

*opens the door and lets 7 s in*

*waits to see the s reaction*

*climbs on the counter*

here Jake..

* Jake Doberman drools but .. after five bowls heavy cannot decide which of the 14 s should be taken apart first *
* so shaking his big Doberman head, concentrates on the sixth bowl *

* difficult enough for a 110 pound Doberman *

*stays on the counter and reaches for a bottle of *

calls the s to a meet - discusses tactics: organises s into 7 groups of 5 - each to care of 1 - to the remaining 7 a secret instruction is given ...

Jake the big brave Doberman has, at last, passed out due to alcohol & is snoring ...

Each of the 7 s creeps up on Jake - one holds up his tail, one each holds up a biggy heavy paw & the other two prop open his mouth ...

s & the 7 groups start running round the 7 s slowly manouevring each towards Jake the big ...

Each is now placed in very precarious positions ... yells "walkies" the s all stand back as Jake suddenly wakes clamping tail, paws & mouth down on the s -

Yes, there is one left - one has to be left to tell the tale (or should that be tail)

rewarding the s with a huge piece of Strong Mature English Cheddar washed down with a little Cider - & herself finishing her bowl of

..

* wonders where the s have gone *

well they are somewhat cartoon-style flattened on the floor ... no more though ... you'll need a large broom to sweep them up, unless your enormous tongue can do the job

resting

*gets out a and wonders if the cats will return*

Seeking for adventures, aren't you, Chorny?

no Shirps, I'll not lick p .. flat cats

* mammals *

and I don't think the will bring flat cats back ..

and Jake probably has a hangover