h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

or hit your head like a bunch of fives

TBIF !!

Grapes of Wrath?

'Old Steinbeck Brand VSOP' perhaps?

nah, american steinbeck brandy always reminds me of the winter of my discontent

......what a loooooooong winter it was.......
Here, try some of my 'hopeless'

...*looks over at Derby...whispers to mari-rae....*i'd like to peal some of that off me.....go on mari.....move over a seat so I can get in closer.

Ohh! Why do I shiver, so? Why is this powerful having a 'strange' effect on me? Why do I keep trying to remember what an aphrodisiac tastes like? Why is the fair Mistress Pandora making those at me?

Ahh! NOW I know what a hamburger feels like on the Fourth of July!

Yummy......................

Has anyone got a pillow? For some strange reason I feel like committing a daring act, like ripping the 'WARNING' label off with my teeth!

CRIMINAL ~!!!!!!

I like that in an man ... ...*goes over to the juke box and hits it with her hip...Ozzy Osbourne's, 'Coming Home' plays...*...I've been a bad, bad booooy ... no use trying to change me ... it's something that I adore...

I jusssss love bad boys.

My Blue Goo Couch has several tags on it's pillows. Go on Derby, knock yourself out. Just leave a bit of room for me when I'm ready for a wee nap ... one of those short four or five day naps I'm always taking.

...*rubs her hip...* Yo' mari!? I think I might have an idea how/why your hip went wonky. .... Some things are jussss worth the pain. Or not.

i don't dance - but i take an occasional

does your peg leg fit over the ok?

forgotten what's going on in here

*Stands out of the way of Pandora and dsl who are ripping off warning labels on pillows with their teeth and making at each other. Hobbles over to Shirps and lends her her secret recipe book.*

Most of the ingredients for these recipes are easy to find, but there are one or two items that are rather difficult. Like the of an . That's NOT on the shelf at Somerfields...no surprise. The fewmets are for the potion recipe. You can find those behind any you might meet.

Mari ... ... what an honour! I won't let anyone else peep inside - promise

Now, are there any ingredients that I should really be careful about? Or can I just "go for it"?

rubbing paws together while glancing through the recipe book ...

Talking of ingredients - if you can't get fresh bats' blood, you can substitute dried ...

Thanks Kes Any more tips gratefully received ... afterall I'm only learning & there may be ... ... a few mistakes

looking for cauldron ...

::hides his special peg leg made of splinters from the holy cross::

... sniff ... sniff ... looks for wholly peg leg - I've got the splinters already I think

*Drags the cauldron out of the fireplace and polishes it up.*

Here you are, Shirps. Obviously, giant's belly button fluff is going to be difficult, but fortunately not many recipes call for that. I'd say you can just go for it.

What were you thinking of making? A potion? A spell? Dessert?

hmm, thinking hard, a spell could be fun ... maybe to change everyone's character?

tips some bat's blood into cauldron along with a sprinkling of badger's droppings ...

now *that* dessert is *guaranteed* to change everyone's character, i'm sure

Ooohh! I'm feeling all wobbly! It must be that cocktail that the nice mari- lady gave me. That and the that are growing bigger, and bigger, and bigger.................

Oh! I just found some teeth on the window sill - nasty sharp little things - & what have we here in the deep freezer - a dodo's brain completely intact

In they go with a bit of Rosemary (I know she's quite popular) - it's down to simmering again, must be the cold brain ... turns the flames up in the fireplace (just a little bit of gunpowder tea should do that nicely) ... walks down into the cellar ... returns with a bottle of vintage "Count Vlad's" - that should have matured nicely - in it goes (hopes the blood types will mix OK)

Well, give it about an hour, then help yourselves

reclines on couch resting paws & watches

This stuff isn't like the cauldron of 'soup' in 'the Scottish play', is it??