h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Lady C notices some building going on in the village*
Good morning Doctor! I'll pop back and make an appointment to see you when the surgery is open. I'd like you to have a look at my leg.
Lady C

~Ding dong~

*Phillipa, Mari-rae's useful niece is at the door bearing a large basket stuffed full of teas, cookies, chocolates, bath salts, scented candles, coupons for local businesses, a guide to the village, and a note saying WELCOME in shaky, but legible handwriting.

Phillipa leaves the basket with the housekeeper. She admires the garden on the way down the path to the street.*

And which leg would that be, Lady C?

*Calls after Phillipa.*
Say thankyou to your aunt for me, Phillipa. Most generous of her.
*Starts to study map*

Both of them please Doctor. I'd like your opinion on them.
Lady C

*Putting on his best doctoring manner*
Hmm. Ah hah. I see.
I think perhaps a home visit would be the best thing. Susan will arrange a date and time with you.
Meanwhile take two of these....
*proffers small white tablets*
...and call me in the morning if they don't feel better.

*takes the pills and holds onto the doctor's hand for far longer than is strictly necessary*
Thank you doctor. I'd just love you to pop by and see what my legs feel like for yourself.
Lady C

*Blushes*

*Lady C finally lets go of the doctors hand*
I look forward to your home visit doctor. The personal touch is so much nicer I find. Don't you?
Lady C

*Mumbles platitudes and retreats back into the safety of his cottage. Susan glares at Lady C*

Lady C waves goodbye to Susan from a distance.
Lady C