h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Right ebveryone, we have been putting this off too long, time to move.

I think I will ring Garibaldi's Removalist 'Where we really know where your stuff is going'.

But before hand, can some help me pack stuff into boxes?

I'm glad to lend a hand mate.
So... which bits need packing first?

Moving? I've come prepared!

/* Whisks out roll of tape and tape-dispenser gun, starts taping the bottoms of boxes shut */

I've got a marker for labelling too.

Hey ever'body!....do ya'need a truck?

Got a buddy wot's gotta big Dodge he'll loan! Calls it a "Ram". If ya'needs' it, just holler!

NM

Sounds like everything's up and ready. While Garabaldi's worked things out I might go and pack his CD collection...

*walks over to survey collection*

Hmmm oooh nice. I like that one... don't like that one... I think I'll put this one one as sort of Removalist music.

*puts CD on*

Nice!

*looks at Wowbagger* I know every CD I have, ok?

Oh, a truck would be handy, especially moing my bed, and lovely $10000 entertainment unit, just hope nothing happens to it.

BTW, where is Shazz? Slacking off again I bet. Guess she will be there for the drinks.

HHMMM....I'll check... Don't know if he'll risk movin' those expensive items, though....a mite bit leary of what resposibility might befall 'im!

NM

*puts hands away from his now strangly shaped jacket*

And what do you think you're implying Mr Garbaldi? That I am not a trustworthy man? Shame on you!

I am not implying anything, just know what Queenslanders get upto. Remember I used to live there.

Hmmm.... guys and gals, we have to move on. The darpet cleaners are going to have to come in a few days times. I have to pack away my fine china, and very expensive crystal glasses.

Oh, and we are going to need help with the book shelf. Imagine trying to carry that thing up the stair by yourself? I did, and got a bad back from it and had to have an operation or two

*ahem* Did you remember to take the books out of it before you moved it?

I am here and ready to help Mr G.
*Examines book shelf*
Good grief! What an, ahem, interesting collection you have here!
I thought that most of these were banned in England!
*settles down on floor and starts to read! Guffaws and sounds of disbelief fill the room for the next hour or so, followed by a loud bang as the book is slammed shut, sending a billow of dust all round the room*
I always did wonder how they did that! OK... lets get these into those boxes which have so kindly been sealed!
*starts to cram all the books in. Unfortunately the first box can't take the strain and the bottom falls out after the first 20 volumes*
Damn! I'll have to start again now!
Maybe I should move onto those beautiful cut-glass decabters instead?
shazzPRME... who will not be drinking until AFTER the move

Need some help packing that glassware Shazz? Monsy says I'm fairly decent at wrapping them with the tissue paper, she just won't let me put them in the boxes......never has told me why, though!

NM

I could have sworn I only taped the box bottoms! Or Shazz, maybe you have the box upside down? That would explain why the books fell out.

Here, I've got some styrofoam packing peanuts for the glassware. They are biodegradable, and dissolve in water. Here I'll show you...

*Pops handful of foam peanuts in mouth, and swallows the now-dissolved substance *

See, perfectly harmless.

* Begins to feel somewhat nauseous. No, extremely nauseous. *

D'Elaphant...quick... take this glass of water and see if it will wash the taste away! We don't want to have to pack YOU up in a case!
You were right about the boxes... I should have turned them the other way up!
That's a great job you are doing with the other glasses NM... I better ask Monsy why... oh NO! I can see why she doesn't let you do more then wrap them! LOL
shazzPRME

* Quickly swallows entire glass of water *

Thanks Shazz, that


WHOA-HAH!


that was vodka.

*Smiles sweetly*
I thought that you needed a pick-me-up!
OK... it must be time for a break now... how about something to eat?
I'll just pop in the kitchen and rustle up a meal before the cooker gets disconnected. I expect that Mr G has asked NM to do that little job!
shazzPRME

*from the box in the corner a voice is heard and Monsy pops her head out ever so slightly so as to be better heard*
did someone mention break?! QUICK!!! get those crystal glasses away from NM now before something tragic happens!!!
*Monsy returns to hiding under the box in the corner*
Monsy

SHAZZ!!!! What the hell happened? Those books are ancient. You didn't try to put about 50kgs of books into that small , and may I say ripped, box over there did you? Well, providing everything is ok.

*goes tot he drink cabient* Time for a vodka me thinks. Hmmm I couldhave sworn there was more in this bottle yesterday. Ah what the heck.

Monsy!!! Yes, please save my glasses from NM, they belong to my dad's aunt's, best friend's, cat's, haridresser's, mailman. He would be very unhappy if something should happen to them.

Anyway, I will be in my room packing, please do NOT disturb

*hiccup*

Vokka?

*writes "cook" on box with blue marker *

Oopsh, thatsh shupposhed to be "book".

* changes the "c" to a "d" *

thashbetta.

* slumps in corner, near Monsy's box *

Don't worry, Garabaldi.....we'll handle everything in here!

"NM picks up box marked *dooks*" I wonder what the sam-hill thats' about? Oh well...no time now....gotta get that gas cooker dimantled.

Now, where'd I put that torch?

"tosses box over into corner on top of other large box.....could swear he hears rather muffled profanity"

NM