h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Re. issue of total number of orifii in the human body:- if my count is correct, and I have asked my wife (who is, by virtue of being female, an Authority in these matters, she should know), surely this is gender-differentiated?

The mere male, barring accidents with sharp objects that can create additional unscheduled holes, has but nine bodily orifii.

Whereas the female, and I have no reason to doubt my good lady wife on this one, has a total of ten? (She ought to know, she counted them. Twice.)

On another topic, I can't see twice-yearly jabs filling all our nutritional needs, not unless it's a bloody big needle. The big problem I have with the old hackneyed science-fiction concept of a single food pill(or equivalent) is - where's the bulk? We need to ingest a lot of bulk protein for repair and replacement of tissues; we need to take in a lot of bulk starch, et c, to convert into food calories to keep the body stoked up. This takes up a lot of space: you're not going to fit all THAT into one little pill the size of an aspirin, or into 10cc of syringe..


everything you think, feel or say / Is in the pill you took today..." ("In the year 2525", Zager and Evans)

Yup, females do have 10! the usual 9 that you lot have, plus one more, ah, down 'there'

so hah, we are more holey than you *refuses to make pun with 'holey' and 'holy'*

Well, as it says in paragraph one "no less than 9" being the bit to which I refer, 10 is also correct. Though a 'hole within a hole' is......stretching things bit, I do belive it does warrents further investigation.

And with that I'm off to explore the possibilities

Spynxxx
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Precise treatment of the issue of numbers of "holes" really needs to involve topology in some way. Perhaps a good definition of a hole (rather than a mere depression, as in the case of the belly button, mentioned in the other thread) would be such that one could (theoretically) have a thread passing into the object and out again, going through the hole, in such a way that the thread cannot be pulled free without letting go of one of the ends of the thread.

So the nostril constitutes a proper hole as it is certainly (theoretically and I'm sure someone has actually done it) possible to have a string go in one nostril and out the other. Ditto things like the mouth and so on. Eyes are (I think) connected around the back, although ears are not, at least without puncturing the ear drum. Piercings increase the number of holes (really I mean the "genus", to use the technical term, and even then I'm being a little sloppy with the usage of the terms). I don't know enough biology to be sure of everything else.

There's also the issue of the size of the thread one is using. Presumably with a thin enough thread, things like sweat pores become holes.

and (see postings passim) what about Milk ducts?
or ducts for other bodily fluids

The original orifice count from medical books of the good ol' days had males: 9, females:12 (counting all things mammary)

The Professor
Underguide

9-12 … sounds like a rugby score…

This probably explains why a male female relationship sometimes feels like being in the middle of a ruck during a lifetime rugby match which we usually loose 9-12.. Although one of my worst experiences was when I woke up in hospital and realised that I was actually winning 15-12.

How can the eyes be orifices (orifi?)?

Can you put anything in them, without damaging them?

Assuming that the eyes aren't, I can only count 7 - nostrils, ears, mouth, unrethra and anus. Am I being thick here?