h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have been one goat (not sure where the other two are) for a long time and would love to be included as a exhibit.

Pliny the Elder - Natural History: Goats use a diet of ivy and crabs thrown up from the sea to cure themselves of sickness. (Book 8, 76): It is said that goats can see at night just as well as they can by day; a diet of goat liver can restore sight in someone suffering night-blindness. If a goat licks an olive tree the tree will become barren; the bite of a goat will kill a tree. Archelaus says that goats breathe through their ears instead of their nostrils, and always have a fever; this may be why they are so lively and hotter during mating.

Isidore of Seville - Etymologies: The goat (hircus) is a lascivious animal; it likes to butt heads and is always ready to mate. Because of its lust its eyes are slanted, from which it gets its name (hirqui are the corners of the eyes). The nature of goats is so hot that their blood can dissolve diamond. Wild goats (male capri, female caprae) are said to take their name because they pluck (carpendis) shrubs, or from the noise of their legs (crepitu crurum), or because they pursue difficult things (captent aspera). Wild goats live on high mountains and see from far away all who approach.