h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is indeed about dried fruit.

Having been purchased by the black eunuch Baba, Don Juan is dressed as a woman - it's either that or castration - and smuggled into the Sultan's temple where he meets the Sultana Gulbeyaz who, he discovers, wants him as her sex slave. And people say Byron couldn't do farce...

Haitsi-aibeb was, as I'm sure you all learnt at school, the shape-changing Hottentot hero who defeated Gaunab (akin to the Devil). He later died from eating wild raisins, but when he stepped out of his grave to stretch his legs, his son prevented him from going back in and his life was restored.

In 1606 John Bate challenged in court the decision by James I to impose an import tarriff on currants without parliament's assent. Bate lost the case, but in so doing a precedent was established defining those areas in which parliamentary authority exceeded that of the crown and this ultimately led to the Glorious Revolution and the adoption of the Bill of Rights in 1689.

And as has already been said, Mr Weakley was an Electric Prune.

Not sure I deserve this one...

Anyone tried putting "cranberry hottentot" (kinda catchy, innit?) into a search engine? You'll probably discover that a berry related to the cranberry, Barosma Betulena, grows in South Africa where it's known as Buchu (from the Khoikhoi word "bookoo"). They apparently swear by it down there for the ease of infections of the urinary tract, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the question in question.

As for Don Juan, the closest I got was a strange hit in response to "Giovanni raisin" (never thought of sultanas) that came back saying something about "delightful to toss over your favourite breakfast cereal".

After such a disturbing experience, I'd resolved to leave finishing this one off to someone else, but since you ask, I'll go fink of a Q.

Back soon...

Pin

Let's have a word game, OK?

aXaXX aXeXX aXiXX aXoXX aXuXX
eXaXX eXeXX eXiXX eXoXX eXuXX
iXaXX iXeXX iXiXX iXoXX iXuXX
oXaXX oXeXX oXiXX oXoXX oXuXX
uXaXX uXeXX uXiXX uXoXX uXuXX

You have to fill in the 25 words of the above grid by adding letters to replace the Xs, making English words. No proper nouns, no plurals, no slang, no abbreviations.

In 24 of the positions, there are indisputably correct answers (brave thing to say round here; never mind). The best word I can find for the remaining position is maybe slightly dodgy...

So the winner will be the person who includes at least 24 correct words in the SAME POST. OK? (It'll be easiest if you reproduce the grid)

...Go f'rit!

amaze alert alien above adult
exact every exile ebony exude
image ideal idiot irony inure
ovary ocean onion ozone ovule
usage upend unite unoil usual

To paraphrase a well-known Bunny, you're up, Doc.

...Same position for the dodgy word, incidentally. If anything, "unoil" is dodgier yet. (Have you ever tried to unoil something? A somewhat irreversible lubricative process is oiling, I'd have said. You can degrease, sure, but unoiling sounds well unlikely)

How about "uxory"? The adjective (uxorious) definitely exists. "Living in the lap of uxory", maybe. There ought to be a word for being pampered by a wife, even if this isn't it, and it sounds languid and agreeable enough.

Anyhow, less of that. Next Q please!

Shrivelled fruit?!
*gag* Shrivelled fruit!?
One wonders at the leap of Mycroftian logic from 'pirates sharing their spoils' to 'various forms of dried or shrivelled fruits'.

I kinda liked the Xs and Os and Us one.
Sorry I missed it but I was un-oiling my car.


~jwf~

Well, medical science has proved that cranberries do actually help mitigate urinary tract infections, Pin.

not that I'm waiting patiently for a question or anything....

I'll be back with another q shortly...

*starts racking his brain*

<< I'll be back with another q shortly... >>

21 hours





tick





tock

Aaaargh! I'd only gone and forgotten about this!

Perhaps someone else has better set one...

OK, try this...

If the Last King of Italy twice succumbed to a precocious temptress, and the Front Door duplicated a three-year-old's Disobedience, and a former British Prime Minister's double presided over a logical contradiction regarding servicemen's sanity, then what's the connection between David Bowie and Champion the Wonder Horse?

"Fashion"?

No wait, which end of the horse are we talking about?


~jwf~

Gizza clue Guv

* doubles up with *

>> * doubles up with * <<

Aha! If that's a clue then I guess it's because horses have a sense of humour (ie:horse laugh) while David Bowie is a sullen, humourless git, still sulking because Mick Jagger made him wear the back half of the horse costume...


~jwf~

... but he did record The Laughing Gnome.

The cryptic bits seem to boil down to Umberto Eco, (Jim?) Morrison and Joseph Heller, and Champion the Wonder Horse seems to imply Gene Autry...

Nothing conclusive springs to mind, although they all have some sort of French connection, and the laughter thing may not be without merit, as Heller wrote No Laughing Matter.

Mycroft has some right names, but also some wrong ones.

~jwf~ not only gets the wrong end of the horse, but also the wrong end of the clue...

Bing Crosby.

>> ~jwf~ not only gets the wrong end of the horse, but also the wrong end of the clue... <<

The wrong end of th... Ha-so! It's "doubles" then!
Hmmm...


For those wondering about Champion's owner/Eezzee-Rider, let me inform you that Gene Autrey had a very succesful singing career and not just his famous 'soda pop' hits of the fifties like "They swam and they swam all over the dam...".
Long before he became a film cowboy and tv star, he was one of the first white singers making a fortune doing covers of some of the blackest blues. Well I say 'a fortune' but it was enough to buy some rhinestone cowboy gear and the hugest white ten gallon hat. He could also do rope tricks.


"Doubles", eh? OK, I'll take a guess that Gene Autrey started in films as a stunt double for Tom Mix or Gary Cooper... but how that connects his horse to David Bowie I dunno.
Hey, I said it was a guess.

~jwf~

Wrong kind of double.
And Mr Autry doesn't come into it.
My most recent Haiku might help.