h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You do and then don't read the instructions on the bottle and die

I wish that I could get lots of money

you do but it's counterfeit and you get arrested and thrown in jail



i wish i could think of a good wish!

you do but on the way to your friends house to tell them it you get squashed by a boulder

I wish everyone would understand me

they do but then they also find out your deepest darkest secret and you die of shame


I wish for a wish that doesnt end in a horrible gory death!

You think of one and then you die peacefully of old age

I wish I could touch the sky

you can but ur finger get stuck in a small finger-sized hole up there and your left hanging in the sky forever.


I wish

The sky is falling. Congratulations, en little!

I wish I'd not eaten so much

Granted but then you die of mal-nutrition

I wish everyone would be quiet

Granted - but now you hear the grass grow so loud it drives you insane!

I wish I had more

Granted you die when a truckload of it falls on your head

I wish that the whole world would revolve around me

You grow so immensely fat that your gravity field is stronger than the sun's



I wish were healthy

are now healthy. They're fat-free, trans-fat free, cholesterol free and free of generally bad things. They are packed full of nutricious and worth while things. But they taste awful!!! You never want to eat them again.

I wish my stomach didn't hurt

Granted, now everything *except* your stomach hurts

I wish I had a

(Me too) You get a , he turns out to be very old and sick and dies after 2 weeks... no refunds!

I wish nothing hurt at all but I don't die

(poor )

Granted - you are now a conscious brain in a jar

I wish my luggage would unpack itself

It does, but hten it discovers that it´s intelligent, kills you (what else?) then takes the next taxi to the airport.
I want better charts...

Congratulations, you now have Excel for making pie charts.

I wish this show weren't dubbed

granted now you can't understand your own voice and realise you are now being dubbed

I wish that I ruled the world

You did, about 4:00 AM last Thursday. You never noticed, did you?

I wish people were smarter

Granted, evryone apart from you becomes smarter and they all think you are so stupid that you are locked in a mental assylum

I wish that I had lots of free chocolate