h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Q1: What is a celebrity?

To help answer the question of what constitutes celebrity status, here is just one dictionary entry for the word "celebrity":

n 1: a widely known person; "he was a baseball celebrity" 2: the state or quality of being widely honored and acclaimed

Here we have two definitions of celebrity; in my opinion, the way the word tends to be used nowadays does not live up to either of these definitions.

Take the definition of "a widely known person". This is, of course, ambiguous; what percentage of the population has to know of a person before they are "widely known"? However, despite this ambiguity, it seems to me that there has been something of a shift in recent years. Even just a few years ago, if someone was commonly referred to as a celebrity, there was a good chance that most people you spoke to had at least heard of them. Nowadays, it seems that anyone who has appeared in any form of national media (most notably TV) is called a celebrity, no matter how trivial the reason for which they appeared or how short-lived their actual media exposure. This means that many people who are referred to in the media as celebrities are unknown either to a majority or to a substantial minority of the general population.

Now, take the second definition from above. This implies that, in order for someone truly to deserve the status of being a celebrity, they should have done something worthy of honour and acclaim. Now, I accept that my definition of what makes an action worthy of honour and acclaim may differ widely from yours. However, I think many people would agree with me that being chosen at random to appear in a low-ratings reality TV show is not particularly an honourable act.

A further issue surrounding the question of celebrity is the degree of media coverage and attention accorded to many so-called celebrities, which is often disproportionate to the initial reason for their notoriety. The newspapers are often full of coverage about the latest antics of some failed pop star or soap actor, while the amount of coverage of people who have done something genuinely honourable is tiny in comparison.

Q2: Have I met any celebrities?

Without a doubt the most famous person I have ever met is the Queen. This may be slightly stretching the definition of "met", as I was six years old at the time and the interaction was a little one-sided. It was the Queen's silver jubilee year (there you go, I've given away my age...), and there was an inter-schools fete in her honour in the town where I lived. I was playing a drum in a school orchestra as she toured the fete. She stopped, made some comment about how cute I was, and patted me on the head. The following week there was a picture in the local rag of me in my embarrassingly old-fashioned short trousers and matching jacket, being doted on by HM. Thankfully, I don't think anyone in the family kept a copy.

A more recent example of "meeting" someone less well-known is when I sat on a train opposite someone whose face seemed vaguely familiar. He was carring a single golf club, a magazine and a mobile phone, and I overheard during one of his phone conversations (the plague of rail travel) that he was on his way home from a photo shoot. Some weeks later I realised while watching golf on TV that it was Ian Poulter. (Now after everything I've said above, I'm not trying to claim that he's a celebrity; but he is more famous that your average man-in-the-street.)