h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Adding free food. Ha!

Where exactly are you getting this from?
The water cannons do, I believe, come from *my* swimming pool, so are you stealing them?

Okay, SIX stones, all I said before, and a fire-breathing monster to act as guard dog and pet. You need never search for your slippers again, and you can have your paper brought to you from the letter box, with all the adverts burnt out.

I invented the flying cannon and built it myself. I just borrowed a few bits and pieces from one of them, so I could see how they worked and then replaced the pieces in question. Honest. The cannon I ride was built by me.

~A Message from an As Yet Unofficial Candidate~

One Candidate actually is for sale! And buying votes no less! I have here free wine for anyone who wants it, grown illegally on the premisis of the Aroma Forrest, unbeknownst to it's owner, Irving Washington. Wine for votes! Remember that campaign promise!

If elected I hereby promise to eliminate all undesireable elements in our society, and bring peace to the masses under my autocratic rule! I promise to build the largest military that H2G2 has ever seen. I promise to declare war on all neighboring websites! All losing candidates will be purged from our ranks! Wine will flow in the streets, mixing with the blood! The H2G2ian race will rule the Internet, and I will be its leader!

VOTE MASQUE OF THE RED _______ FOR MILITARY DICTATOR!

Ok, vote Demon Drawer and the Benevolent Spirits that protect us from evil overlords will give you immortality.

You hear me? IMMORTALITY!!!!! Top that!

Vote Peregrin, and you get to retire early and have fun.
No-one'll ever retier if you are immortal - they'll have to work forever, and ever and ever - which will get very dull. Imagine being an ancient old fart out of touch with the younger generation but having to work with new fangled devices all your life without cease... No thanks.

The bidding for the votes has now closed, I'm going to skim through the bids to choose who the votes'll go to.

The winner will also gain me as a canvasser for their election team, can't do much better than that can you?

No, you sure can't, Croz, old friend.

After much deliberation the winner of the votes is.................



Peregrin


Right, could someone pass me some flyers so I can start badgering people.

Great - go along to
http://www.h2g2.com/A379253
and start campaigning from there.