h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is an actual posting from Baldrick to a newbie:

In fact, this place is so civilised and nice, we've given you 4 days to settle in before bombarding you with political propaganda. May I please direct you to the h2g2 Post, where you can get the lowdown on the h2g2 Presidential election, in which I'm running, and then if you'll conduct yourself to the Big Probe poll run by E Vibenstein and vote for the best candidate for the job [CHEAP PLUG] ie ME! [/cheap plug]. The Post can be found at the bottom of the homepage, the poll by going to my page, then to the thread 'Further ice-cream', then to E Vibenstien's page, then via his link. [Redbeard] You didn't do it. I have to, considering my ranking. It's not last, neither.

This tells you:
1. He doesn't know how to give links... clear by his convoluted way of directing her to the poll.
2. He doesn't know GuideML or HTML
[CHEAP PLUG] ie ME! [/cheap plug]
doesn't use proper and uses a mix of upper and lower case tags which is a no-no in GuideML.

How can we have a President who doesn't know GuideML and link quoting???

Did Ronald Reagan know GuideML? Does Bill Clinton know GuideMaryLou? None of this is important to me, me, me!

What is important is which presidential candidate will feed my goldfish when I'm on holiday?

Wumbeevil, it is my understanding that The Celery (along with his numerous other talents) is the patron saint of goldfish

Thank You, I shall check out his stance on the aquarium issue and whether he is pro-coys or not.

I'm sure I speak for Peregrin when I say that, while Peregrin may not be there in person to feed your fish, he sympathises completely with your situation, and if you ever need to talk to someone about it, or you have strong feelings about the issue, Peregrin is always there to help. With the people behind him, Peregrin WILL make a difference.

"Peregrin Cares" http://www.h2g2.com/A379253

Hmm, I was already suspicious that Celery may be a plant.

Can you guarantee that my goldfish will become more attractive if I vote Peregrin? And I don't mean in an anorexic supermodel sense (they've had enough of living life in a goldfish bowl).

Of course we can garuntee that the Peregrin campaign will be able to make your goldfish more attractive. Why, did you not know that Bluebottle, Peregrin's vice, is employed at the Coral Reef Cafe
http://www.h2g2.com/A340093
as a Goldfish Bowl cleaner, and has been for several weeks? That just shows a little of our campaign's dedication to the welfare of goldfish everywhere.

Oh, and visit the cafe too - you know you want to

Oh well, that's nearly settled it then.

I'll visit the cafe later to inspect the Goldfish Bowls, but meanwhile I have some more traditional Saturday supping to do.

Bluebottle, does this mean you won't be washing up at the Aroma Cafe any more? We haven't seen you there for weeks as it is. Ook has been standing in for you.

I visited the Coral Reef Cafe: it seems to be exclusively for fish. Kelp soup?

I try and support all the cafes, Lil - as for the Aroma Cafe - I was off h2g2 for a week when Sarah visit here, and by the time I returned I didn't know which was the recent thread. They're not named after the days anymore, just about what's going on in the post. If you let me know which forum it is - perhaps post it here - I'll return to wash up in a flash.

Does the Aroma Cafe really want flashers? Peregrin obviously encourages this type of behaviour.

tut tut... well, while my collegue may not know the ins and outs of guide ML, can I just say that my page has only just been transformed into HTML. as such, Baldy is able to concentrate more on needy campaigns, such as parties!!!

Also, it may not be such a good idea going round saying celery is PS of goldfish... a few saints may get a bit annoyed

Bluebottle, and anyone else who would like to stop by, the new thread for the Aroma Cafe is at http://www.h2g2.com/F26140?thread=66539 . And we have a player piano, now, so I've refined the first-to-the-forum race. The first person to push the piano to the new counter and sing or play 4 bars of a selected song gets the FTTF Special 8-) Odradek just won, in spite of her recent dentistry.