h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Being a Home Supporter at a Football Match - A36606846
Author: Psycorp Six-Oh-Three - U219983

This is my follow up to A20725931.

I wasn't sure if it needed a follow-up, but then I remembered how much I enjoyed writing the first one. After this, I may well do a guide to Wembley Cup Finals, and one about International Football.

Let's see how this one goes down first, eh?

I love it. Do you think it's worth mentioning that matches with both your local teams (if there are two) often result in huge tension?
This is the case here, although I'm not talking league games, but just the loacl football clubs. However, FSV Bergen vs Germania Enkheim has seen quite some violence now and then - not only among the audience, but among the players, too.

It could be worked in. I'll have a think about it, and make a change tomorrow morning.

Maybe it's different in other places, then it wouldn't warrant a mention.

I'm sure others will have more suggestions, it's a bit late now.

I thought this about the first one too, and maybe should have commented then. Did you decide to miss out the actual football to see if anyone noticed?

Pretty well written, but the core's missing. Without something about what goes on during play, it's hollow, don't you think?

"Without something about what goes on during play, it's hollow, don't you think"

For some reason, I'd never thought about that side of things - I suppose a beginner's guide to shouting, chanting, abusing the ref, etc should really be incorporated into this.

Good work though you've got to get rid of those evil MS Word ’apostrophes’ and replace them with 'ordinary decent ones'.

Oh and:
The games over
-->
The game's over

Alex

Cheers Alex. I did promise Bel that I'd sort the apostrophe situation out, but it slipped my mind.

Apostrophe's hunted down and changed.

Added a new section: "The Game"
There's not much about the actual game of football mentioned, because I don't really think much needs to be said - I approached this (and the last one) from the point of view that the reader would know what happens in a game of football (22 men kick a ball about for 90 minutes). Any suggestions as to what needs to be said about the game itself would be greatly appreciated.


"the games over" changed to "the game's over"

That reads very well. Great description of the categories of spectators.

Do you reckon it should be "The Game"? That suggests it might give a general overview of the game of football, whereas it's an overview of things to look out for at the match. Then again "The Match" would be repetition with the next heading...

Or is it here where repetition's ok, and work where repetition's bad? I'm confused now...

I wouldn't have noticed there was a problem with the header. (It's all 'game' in German, which is why I get it wrong ever so often).

I really hope some more knowledgeable folk will come here soon.

I've mentioned it on my PS, and a few of the VSC are subscribed so maybe they'll have a look.

I started to read this with some trepidation, but found I enjoyed every word of it. And this from someone who prefers the ovaloid-ball game.

Cheers! From what I remember of going to Salford Reds as a kid, a lot of this advice applies - although football's on a bigger scale.

I really enjoyed this one, Psycorp

Can't think of anything to add. Didn't notice any typos...I'm pretty rubbish at this PR malarky really

Never seen a live football game and avoid the televised ones when possible, and I enjoyed it *anyway*! This from someone who was at one of the main "public viewing areas" (where they showed the games on a big screen) for the World Cup semifinals and left before the game started

Some sound advice in there, should I ever decide to go after all

Hi Psy - what about ~ What to wear ? colours ? hat ? body paint ? Lurex ?

Money ? CCFC and somewhere else are going cash free inside the ground. You purchase credit on a little plastic card and use that within the ground - they claim this will mean less queues, faster service, less theft - but as you'll doubtless appreciate also means you are paying upfront and it stays in the club's account if you don't use it all, and what about the away fan ?

Possibly a new entry - but what about a guide to the programme ( Match Day Magazine.) ?

Additional fan types -

The hysteric - usually female and under 20 years of age - will have a fixation on a particular player and will scream loudly whenever he touches the ball. If he should get injured then banshees have been known to turn up and applaud. Male versions do exist but football's homophobic background tends to make them short-lived.

The sceptic - if the team's losing he will provide you with a list of the drinking habits of all the players and the management team. If they're winning, then he can proffer a theory on the betting scam the oposition are running. If they're drawing then he'll discuss the team's lack of stamina due to the aforementioned drinking and the pathetic nature of the last minute goal they'll concede.

The Convert - used to support a local rival, but has now become disillusioned/seen the light/been banned - is wearing every conceivable item from the club shop - replica kit - training jacket, club pen, club phone, monogrammed wallet, wrist bands, head band, ankle band, Alice band, JJ Geills band, and now sees anyone who does not support his new love as an object for conversion/extermination.

"If you're used to listening to games on the radio, you'll probably be stunned at just how bad your right winger's haircut is. That's to be expected - his haircut is awful."

This just cries out for a Ryan Giggs David Beckham analogy.

Plenty to think about there McKay - I'll definitely be incorporating some of those fan types.

More to incorporate - from Nitpicker

1. When did you last go to a match on Saturday afternoon? Only 21 out of my team's 58 matches were on Saturday last season

>All our league matches, except for two moved for TV, three for policing and two that had been postponed were played at 3pm, Saturday. I'm fairly sure if you took all the 92 league clubs in England, 72 of them would have a similar experience. I tried not to put a Premier League bias on it. I'll work in a footnote though.

2. Why only one step? Either call all the other headings a step or don't call the first item Step One

>Because I'm a moron! I'll change that!

3. Please STOP assuming that all fans of the big 4 are glory hunters - I live 15 minutes walk from Arsenal's new ground and consider myself VERY fortunate to be able to support my local team...

>So you'd come under local, family and friends under the choosing the team part then?
I'm not saying all Big 4 fans are glory hunters, I'm just saying nearly all glory hunters follow the Big 4. There's a subtle difference, but if you think it could do with a footnote, I'll add it.

4. Getting a ticket - tickets for the league matches go on sale for some clubs 2 months in advance

>I'll change that.

5. Re standing v sitting. Maybe you should point out that IF you are in a seated area you are not allowed to stand up! If you did not ever stand up you would miss all the goals and attempts but to stand up for the whole match is asking for trouble because the stewards MUST try to get you to sit down and can have you ejected for refusing

>I'll work that in too!

Nice article otherwise

>Why thankyou!
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I'll try and make all the changes tomorrow.