h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For what it might be worth, here is my take on how violence works and why ignoring the bully may not work out. I agree with everything that 'MyRedDice' wrote, this only expands on a point or two which interests me particularly.

People show great reluctance to engage in violence. One reason is that they have been taught that it is bad. Another is that they risk getting hurt. A confrontation usually proceeds by a huge number of tiny, finely graduated escalations with each side hoping to achieve their goals by bluff.

When involved in a confrontation, it is really helpful to be aware of your opponent's goals and precisely how the escalation is proceeding. A victim of bullying often combines a failure to appropriately match escalations with a stubborn refusal to accede to the opponent's goals.

The goals can be surprisingly simple and straightforward. They can involve no more than acknowledgement and a little respect. This is called stroking and is a skill well worth learning. Looking a person in the eye, calling them by name, asking a simple question ( What's up? ) or offering an empty compliment ( looking good, dude ) is sufficient. Sufficient, but not at all easy if you are feeling vulnerable and the person is horrid.

Matching escalations is conceptually straightforward, but hard to do in the heat of the moment. If you are insulted or shoved, insult or shove right back. It is extra good if you can make a joke of it. Do not answer an insult with a punch, or shrug off a shove.

The problem with a minor escalation, such as answering a shove with a punch, is that it tends to remove the inhibitions against violence - "I beat him up because he punched me first and for no reason"

The problem with ignoring an escalation is that the bully has not had his/her bluff called, but neither has his/her goal been met. This is infuriating. There is no sense of satisfaction, so the bullying tends to be continued or repeated and quickly becomes habitual.

If all this is too difficult, and it may very well be until you have had been able to practice them in a safer environment, consider total escalation. Decide on your personal limit, being touched is good, and if this limit is crossed fly into a berserker rage. You won't make any friends, but the incident will be concluded and you might get left alone in future.