h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Florida,USA - A3636245
Author: shagbark - U170775

Here I am once again with the newly overhauled article.

I wonder if I can fit in a link to Daytona or Cape Canaveral.

This is coming along, shagbark

You need to check you have and tags around each parapraph to make it a bit nicer to look at. Here are a few links for you from a search, don't know if any of these places are worth a mention in their own right:

A282999 Bill Baggs State Park, Florida, USA
A272639 Miami, Florida, USA
A756218 Ginnie Springs Wilderness Park, Florida, USA
A283006 The Everglades National Park, Florida, USA
A273692 Lakeland, Florida, USA
A283024 Tobacco Road, Miami, Florida, USA

Finally, you're covering a massive subject all in one go here, and you've done a pretty good job - I think the main thing that is missing is that you haven't given much information specifically directed towards visitors, e.g. which parts would you suggest I go to? Apart from Disney World, etc., what is there for me to see? I went to Florida as a teenager and got dragged around all the tourist sites - what real gems did I miss out on? That kind of thing.

Good work and a good read! Hope this helps....

see what you think of this version

shagbark waits.

Hi shagbark!

Yes, you've obviously put some work into the Florida entry and it looks good. Well done.

Is this all your own work or did you copy some of it from an entry by another researcher? If you did, you should add that Researcher to the author list.

Content:

You may get some resistance to including the bit about homosexuals.

The GuideML:

You'll have to remove the FORUMTHREADINTRO section.

You can't space things out using spaces in GuideML. It treats all groups of spaces as if they were just one space. If you want to make a neat table of facts, you use the construct. See my Washington entry for details.

You should use TITLE tags on your external links. These provide the titles for the links that are displayed in the right hand margin.

For example, your link

theme parks

should be

theme parks

Use Uppercase for all tags in GuideML.

h2g2 Style:

You don't need indenting spaces at the start of paragraphs. It's not the style here at h2g2.

Punctuation:

It could do with few more commas, but I'll point them out later.



Good work. This is definitely getting there.

There might be one or two sentences from <./>U45062</.> but everything else that he said was either deleted or modified.
As to the Homosexuals- when I was 19 I lived in St. Pete for two years and had to fend them off personally. I know first hand that they are there. They also are behind disney instituting Gay Pride week at Disney World. A google search would support that.
If I said that thye were not owners that would be discrimination, but surely they can't complain that Florida in its current legal condition allows them to become owners.
Thanks Gnomen for the info on Guide ML. I was unaware of the Title Tag.

On second thought I have now deleted everything from <./>U45062</.>
so everything in there is mine( including the predictions concerning global warming and the references to the Bush brothers).
I note that DNA ignores the TITLE tag in referencing other h2g2 links. (see "An Overview Of The Tampa Bay Area")

Hi Shagbark, this is a good entry.

I do find the tone of the comment about homosexuals, frankly mildly homophobic, but that might just be me.

Gay Pride week in Disneyland sounds fun!

Yes, you only use TITLE on external (HREF) links. For internal links (H2G2), the title of the Edited Entry is displayed in the right margin, not matter what text you put between the and the .

If the homosexuals are there, you can certainly mention them. But be wary of suggesting that they are something to be avoided.

kind of surprised that noone has challenged my conclusions on the future.

or the bad effects of Florida sunshine. I also wonder if I should mention the Florida Gators ( Colleges)

U of F or FSU or Miami University?

I'd have thought something about the Keys - more than just the brief mention of Key West - would be worthwhile.

And if the southernmost point of Florida (also the southernmost point of the US) is at 25ºN, the sun can't be directly overhead at *any* time (although it'll be darn near close to it).

I note that the Michigan entry A143849 considerably shorter than this article. apparently the editors in 1999 weren't quite as particular about what made it into the EG.

That's true. Some of the early entries were very poor. If you find any such entries and feel like updating them, by all means do so!

Speaking only for myself, shagbark, I like your conclusions on the future and you won't get any argument from me - sounds like common sense...

I also like the entry. The only thing I might suggest is to name one or two of the principal towns or cities in each region you refer to (you already mention somewhere in most of them) which would maybe provide a little extra assistance to someone trying to imagine a mental map of Florida while reading?

Actually, I've just thought of another thing - is it worth mentioning Florida's pivotal role in the Bush/Gore Presidential election? Not vital, and maybe it would be going into too much detail for an entry that will hopefully in time serve as a gateway to others about other places in the state, but maybe worth considering?



Cheers,
Number Six

I think it can be a little offputting to start an entry with statistics. If you put a little introduction first it might be easier to read.

This is from the climate section:
>> The state of Florida sits in the lower right corner of North America like a stocking dangling from Georgia's ankle. Located between Latitudes 25°N and 31°N the main seasons are Tourist Season(late October through Easter) and Hurricane Season (June 1 through November 30). Each year multitudes come there to visit its beaches and theme parks. <<
This might go better as the intro I suggested.


Otherwise, apart from some minor GuideML errors, a good entry.

I agree - I think it would be a structural improvement to start with the section after 'Climate' and put the statistics at the bottom. That paragraph would draw in the reader's attention nicely.

In my Washington entry which got general approval, I had:

Introductory Paragraph

Some facts about Washington (the statistics table)

Two more introductory paragraphs

Header

First detail section

etc.