h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You know how the worst enemies can come from the greatest of friends? Well, that's happening to me. To all of us.
My dear friend Vidmaster has started his own Alabaster-pride fan club. I've tried to make him see the error of his ways, but he just won't listen. Can anyone here make him stop? Already he has earned a single convert. Where there is one now, many will come. We must put an end to this!

The Alabaster Fan Club is Guide Entry A654374.

~Wes

hire some goons and send them in

(try http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A615340 if you want to hire some goons)

Absolutely not If we say they can't have their club, they have every right to say that we can't have ours. Let them have their fun, they represent no threat to us. It's a friendly rivalry

Oh, I know it's just friendly rivalry. By putting an end to it I mean...er...c'mon, it's just friendly rivalry!
I think we need to come up with some good pro-GOO slogans. We can write them all over bathroom walls and the like.

Classic GOO--it's right for you.
~Wes

*hired goons come in and make silly faces at Ex Libris*

Ha ha ha! I have two converts now! And we have a cool badge! You'll never stop us! We'll conquer the world!
*laughs diabolically*
Well, maybe not, but we will come up with cooler propaganda.

I say hire the goons

No. I don't think goons are necessary. This is a job that will require stealth and sneaky business. It will require us to think our hardest and work to our full capacities.

And also....
It must include a wooden rabbit!

~Wes

Wes, Wes, Wes...Aren't you supposed to be in school right now?

*sends more hired goons to tell the teachers that Ex Libris is on the net*

School? Ha! What about you, posting at the same time as me?
Anyway, I was in lunch at the time. Well, DEAR actually. It was library day, so I just went on the library computers. Now I'm on before school.

And you? Your excuse?

I was doing important research in physics...

*sigh*

we got ya runnin' scared now!

pull yourself out of the goo at the AFC:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A654374

*Inserts into tube's yawning mouth*

Calls to remove from Tube's throat.

*Sneaks up behind Ex Libris and smacks him upside the head with a *

Ow! That hurt!
*Becomes and performs the Monty Python slapping dance on Vidmaster*

Ouch! That was truly unkind.

*slaps Ex Libris with a *

That would make more sense if the was a ...

Villan! Take this!