h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ahh, the good old days! When graphics didn't matter, and options were few and frustrating

*Walks to the Left*

*Also walks to the left, waiting for Joe to describe what's left*

You walk into a large chamber which is carpeted in seaweed. There is a large, metal sign on the wall which proclaims itself to be the expedition meeting point.

Okay, so we've all met here. So, what's our inventory?

*In Dungeon Master mode*

You are surprisingly lacking. The only food you have is a piece of dwarf bread that was forged last year. You have a few coppers and a tarnished sword.

Now, we need character descriptions

[YK: Human. Wearing hooded, brown robes, hazel eyes, short dark brown hair, and seventy-four inches in height.]
[YK's items:]
=Blue double-bladed lightsaber.
=Blaster
=Donut communicator
[YK's spells:]
=The Force (multi-purpose)

[YC: Human. Physically identical to YK, but with a ponytail, and wearing a black jumpsuit.]
[YC's items:]
=Yellow lightsaber
=Snowzar
=Donut communicator
=Schwartz ring
[YC's spells:]
=The Force (multi-purpose)
=The Schwartz (multi-purpose)

[Link: Hylian. Three foot ten, medium-short length blonde hair, Peter Pan-type clothing, hood-like cap, all clothing except for boots and tights Lincoln Green*.]
[Link's items:]
=Hookshot
=Kokiri sword
=Shields: Hylian shield, mirror shield.
=Power gauntlet
=Ocarina of Time
=Slingshot and deku nuts
=Boomerang
[Link's spells:]
=Freeze powder - ice
=Magic lantern - fire
=Ice rod - ice
=Fire rod - fire
=Bombos Medallion - fire
=Ether Medallion - air
=Quake Medallion - earth

[Nerfal: Whiphid. Seven feet tall, brown fur.]
[Nerfal's items:]
=Blaser
=Comlink
=Physical strength
[Nerfal's spells:]
(none)

[Peeves: Poltergeist. --]

[YK] No, let's not include him.

[YC] You said it.

[Link] I've had enough of him.

[Nerfal] Me, too.

Bluebottle: Goon show character/type of fly hybrid - able to fly.
Blue coloured, eyes able to see fast motion and in extreme detail.
Items:
Goon show script book
Plastic whistle
Stale bread
Tarnished sword found on a scrapheap.

Spells:
Able to come back to life after shouting "You rotten swine you! You have deaded me again!"

[YK] Oops. I forgot to mention that all of my characters have wallets.

[Link] And I also have:
=Magic bottle containing a Life Faery
=Magic bottle containing Blue Potion
=Magic bottle containing a bug
=Magic bottle (empty)
=Deku Mask
=Goron Mask
=Zora Mask

[Nerfal] The masks transform Link into a Deku Scrub, a Goron, or a Zora.

[YC] Isn't the Zora Mask also called the Masque of Zora?

Duely noted

I have a map here so I know where everything is

Now, anyone else?

[YK] Good question.

[YC] Link, don't you have the PESTTT?*

[Link] Oh, there's an ocarina song that takes care of that.

[YC] Okay.

[Nerfal] Are we all set?

[YK] I hope so.

[*PESTTT stands for Personal Emergency Space-Time Teleportation Thingummy]

Mad Hatter
wearing one of a range of hats plus unimportant clothing

Items:
rolling pin
electric mixer
nearly 42 hats

spells
the ability to cook anything with any effect under any circumstances with very little in the way of ingredients

companion: cave lion, big, with teeth

You walk forward and see a large opening appear in the rock. Through the craggy arch a small, candle lit room can be seen with a dried up well. A winch mechanism offers a way down to the bottom. As abruptly as the wall opened, it closes behind you leaving you standing in a room with one way out.

[YK] D'OH!

[YC] Okay, one way out.

[Link] Let's take it, shall we?

[Nerfal] Sure.

*enter, E...*

inventory? Oh my...I haven't a clue...never dared check my pockets...

One way out...well...that's a tough choice now isn't it...

Unless we go back....and go right instead.....

Oh why bother....

There is no back

That opening is one way

I have my map here so at least where ever you lot go, will be consistent

[Joe, do you think you can work a quest for learning the Ocarina Songs into this? If so, give me your e-mail adress so I can go into more detail without giving anything away...]

So there's absolutely nothing in this room at all, Joe?

I think we should mark all the rooms we've been in - just in case this becomes very maze-like. Eomando, is that a lipstick you are carrying? If so, just put a mark on a rock somewhere, and hope that no goblins decide to move all the stones around.

And then, well, forward. Why not?

[YK] Because the only way out is down, bozo!

[YC] YOU'RE the bozo!

[YK] It takes one to know one! (No, wait...)

[Link] We're patient.

[Nerfal] Interesting, coming from the mouth of a ten-year-old.

[YK] I've got it! It takes one to apply it to someone who isn't!

...

[YK] Okay, I'll try again.

If there is only one way to go, and that is the way we are going, then which ever way it is, it must be forward

Hmm, good point.