h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Check the batteries. If they're running out it can cause the Translator to 'skip'.

Hmm, lets see, batteries, butterys, rowies Ah Ha flat as an oatcake, pass me my ion pump, pump, pump, testing, ah-oneah, twa-ah, two ah what ho old bean, Aye, whoops, residual tartan cluster, I say, what ho, stiff upper what's is name, yes much better now. Yet another triumph for Mr Dreadful........................

Its a broad brick moonlick nick ta nick....

Eh?

Dear Mr Dreadful
After many years of following your work I am truley impressed. I have been wondering a long time about what I should ask you, not wanting to waste any of your magnificant dreadfulness. So, I ask you, Why are you called Mr. Dreadful? Have I spelt truely right? and, if the answer of the question is 42, why can you not ferret a ferret or shrew a shrew, but you can badger a badger?

Thank you your estimeed dreadfulness

Dear Terrorvison101,

I am called Mr. Dreadful after the plush pig owned in childhood by Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork city watch.

No. You didn't spell 'truly' right.

You need not despair about the human inability to ferret ferrets or shrew shrews as you can still rat on a rat.

thank you... you truly are dreadful, espcially your knowledge of geeky trivia

Dear Mr Dreadful

Why is orange jam called 'marmalade'?

B

Dear Master B,

It stems from the now-legendary incident when a hen gave birth to an orange and one of her chicks exclaimed 'look what mama laid!'

Dear Everybody,

Due to the success of this thread I've decided to give Ask Mr. Dreadful a 'proper' home: A3473435.

Now it's my turn to ask something: would it be worth seeing if I can get this thread moved or shall I leave it here as a beacon for all those who want advice but don't know where to look?

Dear Mr Dreadful

Yes.

B

Dear B,

'Yes' to which one? Do you mean that I can get threads copied and thus do both?

I don't know. I was just being awkward.

B

*Waves fist*
Young whippersnapper!

Dear Mr Dreadful,
Having just got back from a merry festive holiday far away from virtual land, what do I find?
27,000 million new postings - all of which I've now read resulting in bloodshot eyes and shooting pains in my neck and shoulders.
To add insult to injury my favourite conversation appears to be trying to move itself.
Is there a way to prevent other people posting messages when my back is turned?
Should I have posted this question in its new home? If so can somebody else do it first - I'm too shy.
Do I need another holiday?

Dear Jazzhag,

It's a well known fact that the rest of the world is a figment of each individual's imagination, thus if you imagine that people will post to h2g2 when you're not looking they will...

You should have posted this message in the new place, but since you're shy I'll let you off.

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'Ask the h2g2 Community' to 'Ask Mr. Dreadful'.

Nice.

Mr Dreadful
Do you think you should put the A number in your nickname for publicity?

Why is my office so d*mn cold?

k

Dear Kelli,

That is a very good idea...
Your office is cold for the same reason mine is: w**k is evil and wants to punish those who do it.