h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I thought I'd better introduce myself discreetly rather than going off-subject in all those other Convos.
No, I don't have a Blades tattoo, or even anything in Elvish. And to be honest, I'm not a fanatical Blade or even Sheffield born.
I came here about 25 years ago, fresh out of Uni. You have to choose your allegiance, yeah? 'Nuff said.
I don't know Germany that well, but I've spent more time than I care to think about in Austria. For me, at least, Steel City is the place to be.
Stay in touch, yeah?
Pin *...wanders off to look at Sho's Space *
[Pact : No mention of football in future unless you bring it up, and then only a single direct rejoinder allowed. OK? Why, you ask? Well, to be honest, it's a bit of a waste wandering round something as weird and wonderful as h2g2 just talking about football all the time. Only don't tell anyone I said so, that's all...]

lol, you beat me to it, I was going to go over to your space and give you a gander.

I'm happy never ever to mention footie again (my husband is a Middlesborough lad/supporter - and you can imagine how much fun he's having with me about it) although, as a Sheffield girl, and a Yorkshire girl, I'll always support one of ours over anyone else. (of course, I count the ancient Yorkshire boundaries, so that Middlesborough is still in Yorkshire)

I have lived a total of about 18 months (from babyhood) in Sheffield, then the curse of being and Army brat struck. But I still think of it as home, and I still get that butterflies-in-stomach feeling as I see the cooling towers from the M1.

You went to Uni in Sheffeld? I had an interview there, with a spritely old lady (honestly, she must have been 70 at least) and she said "ok, we have to go up 3 floors now, follow me" dived into one of those paternoster lifts and left me standing. Scary.

I'll be coming over soon, which means: buying a 5 litre container of Henderson's relish; off to Lily's to buy Parkin (to bring home and freeze); to stand outside where the hole used to be and moan about how it all looks strange; and off to the Frog and Parrot to moan how the beer isn't as good as it used to be. So if you see a madwoman with the gruesome-twosome in tow, and a poor fella with a Boro accent walking a few paces behind, who is rushing around somewhere like Barker's pool shouting "oh, this is where we used to...."

you'll know to steer well clear!

Please do Case my Space, though it's a bit tired at the minute. The better entries and RPs seem a long while ago now...

* resolves to talk more in a few days. Only the Weddell's getting annoyed, and business travel's impending *

(How come seals go on business trips? Don't even ask...)

ah, you may or may not be on a business trip, but well done the Blades

(wow, that didn't even stick in the throat)

Just don't expect me to say it on Friday!!

I am, and 2 hours before seeing this I realised they won at Pompey from a glimpse at a league table.
Friday is D-Day. Though I want and expect United to win, we should all hope Wednesday play with spirit. It's very dark up in Hillsboro these days. They need self-respect out of this one, or the lights could really be out for good.
There, I said it. But you brought it up, so that's OK.
Pin
(Minor triumph : I got a German to buy last night's meal - a competitor too! The bet was that whether I could quote the whole of Heine's Lorelei, auf Deutsch, naturlich. We've known each other years, and he's never had a hint before that I knew any. I just hope he's running a few dozen historic indiscreet remarks through his mind right now, wondering if, God forbid, I actually understood them... )

lol! I love doing that to Germans. I sometimes (pure laziness) speak with an atrociously English accent, although my Grammar is pretty ok. And the amount of times I've had the last laugh (yes, I know, but mean is my middle name)

I've never read the Loreli (I didn't study German formally, only a bit in the Army) is it any good? Every time I go to Heinrich-Heine-Allee in Düsseldorf (my tram stop for shopping) I think about it, and then somehow I've always managed to avoid it.

Quaking in my boots about tomorrow, I'm sure it's going to be very tense and I hope that whatever happens the fans behave.

Ho hum. Off to prepare for my meeting with the Managing Director tomorrow - working out my arguments for a massive pay rise.

When I said I could quote it, I didn't necessarily mean that I could appreciate it at the poetic level. I find that hard enough to do in English!
So the "is it any good?" question is a bit indeterminate.
I do know that there's a really dodgy bit in the fifth verse, where he rhymes "Weh" with "Hoehe". And I do know that the version set to music is dreadful, at least when sung by my German teacher.
I keep persisting with German because it's of some use in my job. German and Russian seem to be the non-English languages of engineering, for some reason, though maybe we should all be concentrating on Chinese, the way things are going.
Hope you got the rise. We don't bother with justifications at our place, since the boss is of the "I'd give you all a rise, but it all depends on how the firm's doing" persuasion. Consequently, he's managed to reduce the whole ritual to a eumphemistic and twenty-times-daily "How's the firm doing?"
In less than ten hours, now, it'll all be over.
Fingers crossed all round for a cracker.
Pin

Oh, you learned Russian too?

I always think it's an odd thing about h2g2 that eventually people who have things in common sort of gravitate together.

OK, obviously we have Sheffield, but I speak German and learned Russian for 7 years in school (and for a wee bit after that in the Army)

Well, I told the boss man my requirement for a 10%+ pay rise, and he didn't say no... but then he's Korean, and it is really really impossible to read his expression.

So, fingers crossed all round I think.

to make preparations for watching the footie...

Oops...no, actually I can't speak Russian. I just mentioned it as another language that's useful for engineers.
After German, my only other fairly-fluent language would be that classical dead one that they still insist in teaching in certain British schools. What's it called now? Oh, yeah...French.
After that comes Finnish, a consequence of 18 months working there. I don't really speak Finnish properly. It's probably the most difficult language in Europe (14 cases, for starters), but to speak any of it is really rewarding. I love the Finns and their country.
And after that, it's "get by" speak acquired in the (many) places I've worked.

A Korean boss? Heav-ee. Korea is a place I don't much like. People tell me that it's lightened up a lot since my time there in the late 80s, but until they get rid of kimchee I'm not fussed about going back.

Oh, yeah. It happened, right? It was almost exactly the match I hoped for, but other than I don't know what to say, really. Wednesday, and Pressman in particular, were valiant and in contention for an hour. Some guy on the radio said the Owls were unlucky - Quinn's goal came at just the wrong time for them. Just about right, really, because going behind changed United's gameplan from asphixiate to mutilate. They are just beautiful when they rip a team up like that. Brown's strike was consummate, the crowning moment.

Looks like I did know what to say, after all. Hey, I really don't want to gloat, but this is a great time to be a Unitedite. We could take anyone just know. But we do think of Wednesday too. Hillsborough's time will come round again.

Pin

I watched some of the match, mostly because the ol' man shouted "I don't believe it.... Wednesday have scored a goal... Oh my god they're 1-0 up". United were fab, and if they can continue with that sort of motivation and play they'll easily get promoted.

Wow, that didn't even stick in the throat. But it will be good for Sheffield if we get one team in the Premier League, and you never know, it might light a spark of determination in the Wednesday side. And I hadn't realised until last night that both managers are from Sheffield. That's good.

Finnish, eh? I remember struggling mightily with 6 Russian cases, hard and soft, masculine, feminine and neuter endings. Finnish would probably finish me off. Finnland is really lovely, I don't know what it is about the place and the people, but they have a good attitude towards life. Although I was only in Helsinki, and then only for about 48 hours.

Korea has changed an awful lot since the military let go (a bit). I was there 2 years ago (I work for a Korean/Dutch joint venture company) and I loved it. But then, I really love the food, and I had had a year to get used to the people and the company attitude from working with mainly Korean staff, so it wasn't such a culture shock. I love kimchee - although even I, famous for eating just about anything at just about any time of the day, baulked twice. Once was when they wanted me to eat a traditional Korean breakfast with the ubiquitous kimchee, and the time they took us (me and 9 Koreans) to an American Style diner (under the missaprehension that I was sick of sitting on the floor using chopsticks to eat Korean food) and the only thing left (because we were late and hadn't booked) was kimchee pizza. I kid you not, it's disgusting if you love Kimchee, so god only knows what it's like if you don't care for the stuff.

So, you've worked all over the place, what's the best place (apart from Finnland)? Is Britain so bad?

I'm not even going to discuss kimchee pizza

I work in steelplant engineering, so the first rider is that the bits of countries I see are the bits that the locals don't mind desecrating.

The two places I've worked where I fervently hoped they'd offer me a job (they didn't) were Wollongong, NSW and Milan, Italy.

As well as these and Finland (longest time of all), the other long stints have been South Africa , Japan , Alabama , Mid Glamorgan , Mexico and the afore-mentioned Korea .

Add to that, short bursts of three weeks tops all over the Eastern US, Brazil, other bits of South-East Asia, more or less everywhere in Europe, various bits of the Middle East and the other steel place in Oz, Victoria's Mornington Peninsula - which I'm somehow going to get back to.

I haven't yet been to China (except pre-Patton Hong Kong bounces) and don't really want to. Seeing as how we've no work anywhere else, this is a sad state of affairs. Never done subcontinental Asia either.

Seen with hindsight, I've squandered most of these chances to find myself, but I have at least acquired a collection of MacDonald's tray-papers from 32 different countries. I can also say "My friend will pay" in 17 languages (when I consult my bit of paper, at least). While avoiding the culture you should see, I've also lacked the imagination necessary to find the culture that often requires medical treatment, so that's OK. Work colleagues have outrageous lists of things they've done on six continents. About the most outrageous I can claim is having committed minor traffic offences world-wide.

I've changed my views about travel. Home is better. I owe my family a lot, and it's their turn now.

(Unfortunately this didn't stop me jetting off for a week's freebie in RSA again last week. Bad seal...)

There, you did ask...

How's about your travels? (Either that or tell me about this Drool-Thing, which I've lurked at but find completely more or less unfathomable. It's only the defect on chromose 23 that causes people to regress to adolescence, isn't it?)

Pin

Nobody ever blames you for jetting off on a freebie, well, I wouldn't anyway.

The Drool thing... well, it came about from an Andromeda thread where AGB and I got a little carried away with our... ahem... admiration of the Tyr character.

She brought it over to my space before I could get it on hers, and since then it's become a massive thing! Basically, anyone can come along and let the world know who they find letchworthy. And since most of us are ladies, it puts the men off (apart from Mr Prophet - but then that's mostly because we talk a lot about sci-fi in general and Stargate SG-1 in particular, and Buffy)

Very adolescent. i love it.

I have difficulty understanding these more recent SF/fantasy odysseys. It's truly admirable, the way you've obviously managed to become sophisticated and global, in spite of your humble British beginnings. The Weddell hasn't progressed beyond a vague pining for Avon out of Blakes' Seven.

Being of a more homely persuasion myself, I won't admit to anything more than certain stirrings for Marge Simpson.

There are others among the Monstrous Regiment that stampedes around this household who profess yearnings for one Scott Cohen, whoever he is.

What the world really needs is a 'Hu-urp' Thread, rather than a Drool Thread. The idea would be to propose allegedly-beautiful celebrities, and then to describe their inadequacies in nauseating detail.

My top nominee would be Sarah Jessica Parker, who has a face that could cut wood. You can tell the difference, because she's slightly more wall-eyed than your average chainsaw.

From your comments, I guess you quite like that other Sarah-with-the-unnecessary-middle-name. It was OK up to about Series Eighteen, I guess...

Hey, I've just had a great idea! What Dame Edna did for Ally McBeal, those nice Transylvanian Cheeky Girls could do for Buffy.

Or maybe it's the spin-off hunks you like. In which case watch out, because Ms Parker just might be looking for some chopping practice viz-a-viz their acting ability.

Pin

Me sophisticated and global? No, I'm just someone who likes to letch men. For some reason, though (I think it's genetic) I'm more drawn to the SF/fantasy stuff on the tv just now, although I do like good drama. I'm waiting with 'bated breath for the new series of In Deep (but then, I'm terminally in love with the one played by Stephen Thompkinson so there is letchery there too). As for Blake's Seven, I prefer Tarrant. But then I've always had a thing for curly hair on men.

And I should add that I am reduced to an almost constant puddle of drool while talking to men with a Sheffield accent - something about it makes me go all gooey. I love all the voiceovers that Sean Bean is doing right now.

I like the idea of a Hur-up thread... why not start one?

and no, I don't go for that other Sarah-with-the-unnecessary-middle-name. Not even as far as series 18..

Wednesday went down. Hardly unexpected I suppose, but nevertheless

I remember now why I hate

Expecting the Blades to do the right thing and go up now. No pressure you understand.

but still

Yeah. It was good at least that Wednesday beat Pompey last week. They can come back, but it's going to be painful. They don't have a Division 2 wage bill, and they're now in a league where visiting support will be a few hundred in good weeks.

United? It's not over yet. Wolves look good, and Reading and Forest have both beaten the Blades this year. It would be a shame if the season ended barren, because they've fought so well and because some of the stars, Brown in particular, would be hard to keep. The current team could be mid-table Premiership next year, and after that anything is possible. We've just got to hope they keep it up for a few more weeks, and make it happen. A repeat of the performance against Arsenal would see them up for sure.

Good to hear from you again, Sho. Talk again soon, OK?

Pin

did you see the recent front page entry on the Fat Cat?
made me homesick

I was over in February, and I have to say that the Winter Garden is fab, but I wish the Peace Gardens hadn't turned into that horrible fountain

And I've decided, finally, to get an Owl tattooo....what do you think?

Yep, I saw the Fat Cat thing. I used to be a regular, but that was some years ago...

* runs out of fingers and shudders *

The Peace Gardens, yeah, it's not quite Sheffield is it? But now I walk visitors up from the Millennium Galleries, past the Winter Gardens and back through the Peace Gardens, then across Pinstone Street and up through Barker's Pool to a trendy bar on Cambridge Street...well, it's almost like there was some money in the Old Girl.

An Owl tattoo would be valiant. A work-colleague has one on his left arm. Today we generously suggested that he should match it with a Dodo on his right.

Pin

(Hey, I never thought to ask. Your army connections probably mean you have loved ones in Iraq. Hope all is OK...)

Aw that's nice for asking. The ones who are over there... well they're ok I suppose since I haven't heard anything, and we have a pretty good support network. I send a box with Vaselene and gummi bears and loo roll now and again to keep them happy though.

You don't pick on your colleague, he's a true owl, just like me! (though we're about as rare as a dodo now) ho hum.

That's a nice sounding walk... next time I come over you'll have to schlepp me along too (don't worry, I'll have forgotten about asking you by then, I usually only get over once a year in February-ish time when the man is using up his holiday allowance.

Have you tried the Dutch pancake place in Orchard square? Worth it for the mad Duch ladies!

Don't forget. It would be

The Pancake-Place - no, I haven't. I heard about it. A good friend, himself married to a Mad Dutch Lady, is coming home after three years in Amsterdam. Could be a possible Welcome Back venue.