My Life as a Boozy Oaf

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It's short,

It's sweet.

It lacks a festive beat.

It's a ramble!

From a Munchkin

It's scrawled,

But it's quick.

It doesn't beat you with a stick.

It's a ramble,

Barely about Christmas!

So, the Christmas issue. I think that means I am supposed to discuss something festive. Haven't a clue what though. This year will be quite interesting actually, what with a tree appearing in my house for the first time and a big festive dinner party and relatives and stuff. What is probably most different about this year is the decorations. I have been well know for many years now as not the most festive. It is true that I have been known to say 'Humbug!' on occasions. And I don't have decorations. Never saw the point. I get bored with them very quickly and seeing them in the High Streets for over a month is more than enough for me.

But now there is someone else in my house. And she is somewhat more festive in her outlook. So we have a tree. And lights. And an angel on the top. It's even a real tree. With sap, cellulose and green bits that fall off. Also, much to her surprise, it has no root ball and so I doubt it will actually last to Twelfth Night. It's festive-tastic rightly.

There was a reason to get the tree though. And that was a dinner party for fifteen we had at the weekend there. Sounds awfully posh doesn't it? Well, considering the way I teleported from politely eating sprouts to rampant drunkenness it certainly was not. Toc put much superb effort in and the food was wonderful. We had a ten pint trifle. It may be quite hard for you to imagine what ten pints of trifle looks like. Suffice to say I could fit my head into the bowl, when empty, with ease. I think there is still five pints in the fridge. However, I got somewhat wired into the wine (a nice Australian Shiraz I believe) and, because I was helping dish up, did not eat as much as everyone else. Still I don't seem to have insulted anyone and nothing got broken so I will chalk it up as a success.

And on that successful note I shall end this waffle. Hopefully I shall return from the holidays refreshed and with something more witty to say. In the meantime have a good holiday of your choice and don't get too silly. That's my job and I'm a professional.

Next Time: New Year, New Socks.

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16.12.04 Front Page

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Christmas Lights original artwork by Blue Bird

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