h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Anyone got any suggestions? I'm reckon Baked Beans should be one, cos it's probably traditional...

FERRETS!

Well- as you said, it's traditional.

I think that falls under "unsafe" ...

My suggestion would be to soak underwear to the saturation point in dishwashing fluid and then pour a little more inside for good measure once you've got them on. Wear light pants or shorts and then go outside in a heavy rainstorm. It would be best to use one of the new super-concentrated formulas to get the most bang for your buck. I would further suggest one of the formulas that claims to give you smoother hands so that some good might come out of this after the fact.

Sincerely,
Margravine Palavar

*rolls on floor laughing*
That's a great idea! Though it probably won't rain here for a little while - the weather's great at the moment...

Hmm - I wonder if washing up liquid, dishwasher liquid, soap, or bubble mixture would perform best in those adverse conditions?

Well I tried it - results posted on the entry...

I'm so honored to have contributed to this promising young scientific field. You'll be getting grants to stuff your underwear with precious gems in no time with your admirable commitment to scientific rigor.