h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Artificial Preservation of Human Remains - A3388052
Author: Farlander - the one with misplaced priorities - U206300

Oh dear, there goes another marathon article. With footnotes of equal proportion.

I'm sorry, everyone. When I started looking up material for this article, I thought I'd only have to cover Egyptian mummification, modern embalming and plastination...!!! Anyway, I *think* I've covered all the important bases, but if I've missed out anything (or, more importantly, if I've made any typos), let me know. Thanks!

Cheers,
Far.

PS: And no, I am. Not. Morbid.

You still scare me.

Why - because of the insane length of my articles, or because of the unpalatable nature of the subjects? Or [whispers]the fact that I seem to enjoy writing these articles?[/whispers]

I saw the title and thought to myself *I bet I know who wrote that!*

I will cheer myself up later by reading it

WOW!

morbid

I can only applaud your fascination with dead bodies and immense articles, i think i need a lie down to recover from that

SuperSam

Another excellent article.

The only little things I've seen so far that seem to need correcting are:

>>"Although Gannal won the second battle, the first caused him to lose his monopoly over carotid artery embalming - and what's more, in a sensationalised court case in 1844."

I assume there was originally something else after "what's more,"?


in 'Civil War'
>>"Before the Vietnam War,"
Should that have been "Civil War"?


In 'Embalming Today',
>>"modern embalming aims at allowing the body to compose by chemical means"

Was that meant to be decompose?

P.

Nice. Just after lunch as well.

Having said that, it is a very fine piece of work. My only quibble would be that the head shrinking bit is mentioned three times when two would do.

sprout

Thanks to everybody who's read this! Sorry if I ruined your lunches.

@Mort: Morbid articles are my trademark, huh? Maybe I should go write something cheerfully benign for once... Like Venus flytraps...

@Potholer: Oops! Yes, I meant 'decompose' - cripes. And, yes, I *did* mean 'Vietnam War' (that's why the families had to write for the bodies of their dead to be sent home during the American Civil War). I can't really remember where I read it, though - I *think* it was Bill Maples' 'Dead Men Do Tell Tales'... Can somebody verify this?

@Sprout: I'll see what I can do about the head-shrinking business. It's going to be a bit of a pain, though, seeing as I split the 'reasons' bit up into so many different categories. Maybe I could change one to 'harvesting of enemy heads'?

Regarding the Vietnam / civil war thing, I'd *assume* you are saying that it was routine for bodies to be returned from Vietnam, but not in the previous wars (civil war, WW1/WW2/Korea?)
However, since the piece talks about the significant developments of embalming during the Civil War, it's not immediately clear what later developments might have caused the change of policy in Vietnam.
It may be that it' not so much a matter of embalming, and more a matter of transport - there wasn't much point risking shipping to move bodies around in the World Wars, whereas long distance transport was rather less risky from Vietnam (and bodies could often be removed from the point of demise via helicopter), and so in terms of the safety and possibility of transport, the Civil War may have been comparable to Vietnam. Possibly the slow-burn start to Vietnam also enabled people to get used to flying back the odd body, so a precedent had been set by the time losses escalated?
The Vietnam mention just seems a bit orphaned at the moment, and a sentence or two might help.

I just went back to re-read my article, and I see what you mean about that paragraph being confusing. Yes, I'm sure it was all about the hazards of transportation - especially with planes being downed by friendly fire (which is what they say happened to Glenn Miller's plane) - and yeah, the fact that I didn't link the two parts makes it oddly out of place. (Sorry, I tend to multitask-think...) Tell you what - I'll just take the bit about the Vietnam War out, and change the first part to:

"At the beginning of the American Civil War, soldiers who died in battle were mostly buried where they fell; little or no attempt was made to recover dead bodies from faraway countries, unless requests were made."

Half way through

Very minor point regarding proposed change re. Civil War.
In the context of the Civil War, 'faraway countries' does jar very slightly. Maybe something like 'from great distances' would suffice?

It does sound a bit Enid Blyton - The Faraway Tree!!

I'm still not finished reading

However, I do have a few comments so far

Great entry btw...I'm really enjoying it. Good one Farlander

Japanese Buddhists still do self-mummification. See these websites for into http://www.sonic.net/~anomaly/japan/dbuddha.htm
http://artworld.uea.ac.uk/teaching_modules/japan/digital_bodies/welcome.html
I saw a programme on TV about them a while ago... quite amazing.

The other thing that has struck me is that in PNG, the ancient ancestor worship entailed the drying of the bodies (perhaps only the heads?) of the dead - and storing them in the rafters of the house. I have a friend who travelled up the Sepek River and was introduced to the the ancestors when he stayed in one village. Much to his surprise. I'm trying to find a web link to that, but have failed so far

I have some typos... but they can wait until I've read the whole thing.

It's a cracker

Six Frenchbean

And I forgot to mention that the barrel of brandy that Nelson was pickled in... well, it was pierced and supped by the sailors on the journey back to England from Trafalgar. So he arrived in an empty brandy barrel, surrounded by pissed Jolly JackTtars who were convinced they'd ingested the essence of their esteemed Admiral.

God's honest truth.

@Potholer: Gah, that's what happens when you try to correct a mistake without reading through the rest of the section. Thanks, Ph, I'll go back and fix that -- and my glasses, while I'm at it.

@Frenchbean: [re:Japanese auto-mummification] Good gravy! Much thanks for the heads-up - I'll go read the article and see if I can add the info someplace.

I am going to read this...

But... Are you sure you cannot split it up? Perhaps into one Entry covering the history, and another one covering the techniques themselves?



HELL

@Hell: Thanks for reading!

It's going to be *horrible* trying to separate the history from the technique! Seeing as I meant for the history section to be the history of the evolution and progress of preservation techniques. (As it is, it's bad enough separating 'reasons' from 'history' - things keep on repeating themselves in different sections) What about.... Part I, encompassing the intro, definition and reasons, and Part II, getting right down to it?

Thanks again!

--Far.

Spliting would be difficult.
It might be long, but it is very together, and it would be a shame to spoil that.

Artificial Preservation of Human Remains
A3388052
Author: Farlander U206300

I've read about half of this so far. It's interesting, but I think it is too long. It should be possible to break it up into a few different entries on the subject.

Now for a detailed look:

Since there was no contact between the Chinchorro in South America and the Egyptians, the Egyptians also must get the credit for the invention of mummification, even if it had been invented previously.

When talking of the Melanesians, you say
"The practices were somewhat different from mummifications in the Far East and Western world"

But you haven't yet discussed mummification in either of these regions, you've only talked about pre-Columbian South America, which is not the Western World.

"the purpose of mummification was to keep relatives around for a little longer" -- do you mean "to allow relatives to remain around a little longer"?

"no akhs would have made it into the Underworld at all, what more to say beyond" -- I'm mystified by that phrase at the end "what more to say beyond".

"the majority of the populace was consigned to the necropolises" -- a necropolis is a city of the dead. Even the mummies were consigned to the necropolis.

I don't understand your description of the preparation of shrunken heads. You say the skin and hair is removed and discarded. They you say that they eyes are sewn shut. If the skin is removed from the skull, how can the eyes be sown shut? What is there to sow? And why worry about the hair falling off during boiling if it has already been removed?



Missing word:
"nuts and seeds found in the forests around the, "

h2g2 Style:

23 April 835 --> 23 April, 835

Typos:

or parts of, --> or parts of it,
preservation of corpses were necessary --> preservation of corpses was necessary
laid eyes of them --> laid eyes on them

The word practice is a noun while practise is the verb. So:

practiced --> practised (many times)
to practice the art --> to practise the art

thoraxic --> thoracic

'comfort' and 'art' are probably --> 'comfort' and 'art' were probably

placed long the spine --> placed along the spine

decapitation) --> decapitation).

there is yet no physical evidence --> there is as yet no physical evidence

Southwest Alaska) who --> Southwest Alaska, who -->

cadaver’ viscera --> cadaver's viscera

the warrior retreat --> the warrior retreats






(checked as far as header "arterial embalming in England")