Evil Army of H2G2: A History: Origins
Created | Updated May 3, 2005
The Dud Wars
The Neo Wars
The Evil Annals
Although The Evil Army of H2G2 was officially started sometime in mid Febuary, the plan for an evil army was invisioned when a quasi-war broke out between it's primary creators EvilClaw and SuperMoo.
Philospher Bounty (Punic Wars: The Re-enactment)
Oct 28, 2003 - Feb 1, 2004
This quasi-war was started when SuperMoo, who had recently opened up
The Cow House, replied to a posting that was almost two years old. EvilClaw responded by firing a pun that went *bang* at SuperMoo. This caused SuperMoo to go into a long list of Physics problems that lasted throughout the war. This also was the point at which the named changed to: Punic Wars:The Re-enactment.
During the following posts there was heavey use of German and Acronyms, including the all important S.L.U.G.S. ammunition and S.A.L.T.S. multipurpose thingamawhatchit, setting the stage for their useage in the Evil Army Invasions. This quasi-war continued on until the Creation of The Evil Army of H2G2 and the plans for the domination of the Universe/Multi-verse/Aniverse...ery/Anything else we feel like invading.
The Evil Army of H2G21
The Evil Army of H2G2 invades The Masters of The Multi-verse2
Feb 3, 2004 - Feb 14, 2004
You can find their acount of the story here. If you want to get a more accurate story without reading all of the posts you should take an average between the two3
The invasion of the MotMV began when we, The Evil Army of H2G2, were trying to find a suitable target for our first invasion. We had talked about several targets but finally decided that the ones that were wanted to attack the most we too stuck on perfect continuity.4 We then set a date for the invasion of the MotMV, which was then promptly moved back several days.
We finally invaded on February 3rd. SuperMoo whimsically5 initiated the fighting with a rain of canned meat from the Cow House's own trebuchettes and continued the fight with the L.A.R.D.W.A.R.R.I.A.R.S.6 and, later, E.V.I.L.M.I.N.I.O.N.S.7. The overuse of acronyms also sparked widespread use of poorly manufactured acronyms by the MotMV.
Around this point SuperMoo ran out of BBQ sauce and also felt that he was hoplessly out-numbered. So he did the thing any evil fearless leader would have done...ran away while his soldiers continued to fight. To accomlish this he created widespread mayhem by attatching exposives to septic tanks, lighting the septic tank "fluids", and launching these flaming septic tanks via the trebuchettes. In mid air these exploded, which caused the mayhem, and SuperMoo ordered some of the LARDWARRIARS to take some SLUGS Bombs and spread out over the battlefeild. When they were detonated the bombs the entire battle feild was frozen by the slime and SuperMoo retreated to rebuild the Evil Army forces for another attack.
When SuperMoo returned he brought with him a squadron of F.F.S.T.8 and an army of EVILMINIONS. They countered with a very large force of s, which were around for some time. At this point Draco arrives with a flying saucer, which was full of the sea monkeys, who had just droped the monsters and were now trying to excape, in hand. The Evil Army fighters proceded in hacking the monsters to shreds while the monsters proceded in eating the LARDWARRIARS and EVILMINIONS.
As the fight progresses the MotMV ally, the Assasin's Guild, sends an assasin to help out and "serve the alliance the two societies have."9 The assasin chooses SuperMoo as the target, being the most active one, and attacks him by cleverly posting a note at Cow House Headquaters. SuperMoo is knocked out and revived by the ever versitile SALTS10. He then teleports back to the battlefeild to continue the fight.
Soon after The Overmind, with a very large portion of the Zerg swarm, arrives with an excelent posting, it has to be my favorite one of the war.
The sky grows pitch black as the Swarm looms over head...a massive hoard of zerglings flood over the hills in the distance leaving distruction where there was one life...diabolical huh?
It was at this point that the war took a turn for the violent side, with large masses of carcuses strewn across the battlefield. It was also at this point that the war became more of a battle between the god moders, or as I prefer to call it:The War of The Gods...Er...God Moders
The War of The Gods...Er God Moders, a continuation of the invasion of the MotMV
Read this portion of the invasion
When The Overmind brought the swarms of Zerg, the MotMV retaliated with hoards of Chaos Space Marines. The ensuing battle scared off all warriors except for The Overmind and TB, who was the one who had summoned the Chaos Space Marines. The result of the long and bloody battle was the loss of huge numbers of both Chaos and Zerg forces11. After the death of Death Bringer, the War of The Gods...Er...God Moders came to an ubrupt end, with the exception of a breif counter by The Overmind, by the restoration of the pre-god moding war. Thus The War of The Gods...Er God Moders came to an end.
The Restoration of The Invasion of The MotMV to it's former anarchy
View this section of the invasion
As the battle returned to being down right zainy, EvilClaw, who was ironically offended by the blasphomy about cats being evil, froze the battlefeild with the exception of the main fighters. This also begins the quoting of Monty Python. After Hunter Killer, The Overmind's Battlefield Commander, consumes "the remains of the mud on the remains of the remains of the thing that was at one point a sock," the MotMV launches a fridge which strikes EvilClaw, resulting in his reverting back to his alter ego, Claw. After trying to revive the Evil in Claw using his, EvilClaw's, favorite quotes12 from movies, postings, and e-mails, Draco hit Claw on the head with SuperMoo, and thus revived EvilClaw.
The hefty amount of quoting resulted in a continuation of making quotes instead of fighting. After numerous postings an unofficial cease fire was reached and the war was soon ended.