Many of today's wedding traditions and superstitions date back thousands of years.¹ It is surprising how many of these were originally to warn off evil spirits, as well as to enhance good luck, fertility and prosperity.

There was no such thing as an engagement or a marriage ceremony to the Anglo-Saxon man. He would just choose the wife of his choice and if necessary, forcibly remove her from her family home to his own home, where she would cook,  clean and bear his children.

Later it was the fathers who recognised the value of their daughters as an asset, they became more protective, and introduced the 'bride price'. Daughters were then considered as their fathers' property. The fathers now expected prospective husbands to show they could be good providers, by offering the family valuable gifts, or by working off the price of the daughter's hand in marriage.

It was centuries later that this was reversed. When the fathers began to offer a dowry (payment) to their daughter’s prospective husband. The idea being, to insure against divorce as the woman now bought something into the marriage, and if the marriage dissolved, he would no longer have control of the dowry.

Engagement

In the sixth century it was deemed illegal for a man to ‘steal’ the woman of his choice from her family. These early engagements were known as the ‘Wed’, which was a sealed agreement between the groom and the bride’s father that a marriage would take place.

Although today, an engagement has no legal standing and 29th February was the traditional day for the woman to propose it’s not uncommon nowadays for them to propose any day of the year. It was somewhat different in Victorian times. Whereby the future groom would first request permission of his prospective bride’s father for his daughter’s ‘hand in marriage’. With permission granted, proposal made and accepted he would then have had a legal obligation to marry his betrothed and if he jilted her, she could sue for ‘breach of promise’.

Traditionally, the groom made his proposal by appearing humbly on bended knee in a romantic setting.

The engagement ring was introduced by the Romans, following their conversion to Christianity. It is worn on the third finger of the left hand, due to the Greek belief that this particular finger was connected to the heart.

What's in a day?

Quite a lot, if you have to take all these superstitions, as well as the convenience of the bride, the groom and their immediate families into consideration.

The day on which a wedding is to be held is steeped with superstitions

Marry on a:
Monday ~ brides will be healthy
Tuesday ~ brides will be wealthy
Wednesday ~ brides do best of all
Thursday ~ brides will suffer losses
Friday ~ brides will suffer crosses
Saturday ~ brides will have no luck at all

Friday, especially Friday 13th, is considered as an unlucky day to marry on.

Months have their good and bad omens too.

Marry when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true.
When February birds do mate, you may wed or dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, joy for maiden and for man.
Marry in the month of May, you will surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses blow, over land and sea you'll go.
They who in July do wed, must labour always for their bread.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change are sure to see.
Mary in September's shine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come, but riches tarry.
If you we in bleak November, only joy will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.

May is considered as unlucky due to it being the month the Romans celebrated the feast of the dead, and the festival of the goddess of chastity. June however, is considered a lucky month to marry in, due the ancient Greeks and Romans honouring Juno, the goddess of love and marriage.

The bride, her dress and bridesmaids

Married in:
White ~ You've chosen all right
Blue ~ Your love is true
Pearl ~ You'll live in a whirl
Brown ~ You'll live out of town
Red ~ You will wish yourself dead
Yellow ~ You're ashamed of your fellow
Green ~ Ashamed to be seen
Pink ~ Your fortunes/spirits will sink
Grey ~ You'll live far away
Black ~ You'll wish yourself back

With the exception of the Irish bride, it is considered bad luck to wear green.

If she finds a spider in her dress, don't panic this is a sign of good luck.

The bridesmaids dressed similarly to the bride in order to ward off, and confuse the evil spirits as to the identity of the real bride

A glance in the mirror, just before the fully dressed bride leaves for her wedding is considered good luck, but should she return and look again, this is considered as bad luck.

The groom and his best man

The groom, his best man, male family and best friends wear similar suits, to ward off and confuse the evil spirits as to the real identity of the groom.

The best man was responsible for insuring the groom's good luck in the following three ways. That the groom carried a lucky mascot in his pocket, that he did not return home for any reason, after leaving for the ceremony, and by giving the minister an odd sum of money for his fee

The Wedding Day

Today, couples often live together before getting married, but it is still considered unlucky for the bride and groom to see each other on the day of the
wedding, until they meet at the altar.

Something old, Something new,
Something borrowed, Something blue,
And a silver sixpence in your shoe.

This well known superstition originated in Victorian times. It appears to have lost its last sentence at sometime.

'Something old' an old garter, or a piece of family jewellery or accessory is often used.

'Something New' represents future health, happiness and success.

'Something borrowed' could be a small trinket borrowed from family or friend. It must be returned to ensure good luck.

'Something blue' it was in ancient Israel, where the bride wore a blue ribbon as a symbol of her fidelity, that the custom of wearing 'something blue' originated.

Good wealth was the belief of 'a silver-sixpence in your shoe'²

The throwing of symbolic 'confetti' over the couple as they leave the marriage ceremony, dates back to ancient times, with the type of 'confetti' changing over the years. The word confetti is Italian for sweets, or confectionery.

Rice, grain, nuts and sweets as well as flower petals were commonly used, to enhance fertility, richness, good luck and sweet experiences.

Flowers are a significant aspect of any wedding. Ideally the groom should wear a flower that appears in the bridal bouquet in his button-hole. This stems from Medieval time, when a Knight wore his Lady’s colours as a declaration of his love. Some flowers are symbolic. Orange Blossom signifies loveliness, purity and chastity and a red chrysanthemum means 'I love you'.

A uniquely British and somewhat unusual superstition, is having a Chimney Sweep present at the wedding, for good luck. ³.

This apparently dates back around 200 years. King George III was riding his horse in a royal procession, when a dog suddenly appeared and started biting his horse’s legs, causing him to loose control of his rearing mount. A man rushed out from the crowd, regained control of the horse, and disappeared back into the crowd. Later, when the procession had ended, the King wanted to personally thank the man, he believed had saved his life. All that he could discover about the mystery man, was his occupation, that of a chimney sweep. The King decreed that from that day all chimney sweeps should be considered as lucky.

The Reception

Sharing a meal after the wedding ceremony may have been seen as confirmation of the new status of the bride and groom, but in ancient Rome time, until the wedded couple had shared bread together, the marrigiage was not legally binding

The wedding cake which symbolises union and allows the guests to share in the couple's happiness. Today, it forms the central focal point at the reception. Although it was not always intended to be eaten. Small ricecakes were crumbled over the brides head

The Romans made small individual cakes from wheat flour, water and salt, these were eaten while the service was in progress.

Early versions of today's iced and tiered cakes were introduced to Britain from France in 1660. The fruits and grains symbolising fertility.

A well-known tradition is for the bride and groom to make the first cut in the cake together. The groom places his right hand over the right hand of his bride, her left hand is then placed on top, and she places the knife at the centre of the bottom cake tier, and slowly cuts the cake, with the help of the groom. The cake being cut is then shared with the guests. The top tier is set aside for the Christening of the couple's first baby.

Bridesmaids, kept their slice, and placed it under their pillow, in the belief that they would dream of their future husband.

Leaving the reception and The honeymoon

A well known tradition is for the bride to throw her bouquet over her shoulder, into a group of unmarried female guests, as she leaves the reception, the belief being that whoever caught the bouquet, will be the next to marry. Before a bouquet was used, the bride would throw her wedding shoe.

A similar tradition for men is tossing the garter. Where the groom, removes the brides garter and throws it into a group of unmarried men.

With the wedding over, during changing to going-away clothes, the bride had best be sure she has removed and thrown away every pin from her dress and veil. Not to do so will bring her bad luck.

So this is why we tie objects to the just married couples going-away car. We tend to use empty cans today. Traditionally old boots were used, this stems from when the bride’s father presented the groom with one of her slippers, giving him the ‘upper hand’ and the entitlement to beat his wife, if she displeases him. The slipper was placed on the husband’s side of the bed head, a reminder of who was the boss. However, if the wife was the more dominant, neighbours transferred the power of the slipper to her, and named her, ‘the old boot’.

Although according to superstition, the first one of the couple to make a purchase after the wedding, is the dominant of them.

Carrying of the new wife over the threshold of their new home is believed to bring good fortune in their future life. It also prevents the wife from stepping into their new home left-foot first, which is considered to be unlucky.

When a groom used to capture his bride, they would hide from her family, until the search was called off. Then after they were married, they would hide for one full cycle of the moon, drinking honey wine, hence ‘honeymoon’.