h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Not a joke but a true "what you don't want to hear on a plane" story. A workmate of mine was seated next to a passenger who was very nervous. As the plane taxied to the runway his level of aggitation got worse and worse to the point where,as the plane commenced its acceleration down the run way he was holding his breath and gripping the arms of the chair in a death grip. The odd thing was that the guy kept looking at his watch and after ninety seconds he let out his breath, let go of the arms of the chair and seemed quite relaxed and normal. My mate had to know what this guy's problem was and he replied that "It's OK now, after ninety seconds the jet engine is the safest engine there is. If they're going to fail they'll do it in the first minute and a half." My mate wrote him off as a common or garden variety panic merchant.... untill later when he asked where he worked.......
"MacDonnell Douglass"

You're right - that is something you wouldn't want to hear on a plane. But I guess it's a relaxing and comforting thought enough after you've been flying for 2 minutes and more...

I don't need to hear this, guys! I'm hopping on a four-hour flight in two days!

...And did you survive?

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