Things You Don't Want To Hear On An Aeroplane PA.

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Back To So Long, And Thanks For Laughing

Things You Don't Want to Overhear Over an Airline P.A. System


    Airplane
  • 1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices.
  • 2. Hey folks, were going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts.
  • 3. Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it's all part of our airlines new commitment to make your a flight a sight seeing extravaganza.
  • 4. Goose! Bogey at 2 o'clock....one on our tail!!!! Eject!!!! Eject!!!!!!!
  • 5. Ummmmmm....Sorry......(silence)
  • 6. (As the plane turns around right after takeoff)....uhhhhh....we have to go back ....we ..we ....uhhhhhh ....forgot something.....
  • 7. I'm sure everyone noticed the loss of an engine, however the reduction in weight and drag will mean we'll be flying much more efficiently now.
  • 8. Fasten your seat belt. (same tone your friend with the suicidal driving tendencies uses when you get in the car)
  • 9. This is your Captain speaking....these stupid planes are a lot different than the ships I'm used to.. so you'll have to give me some leeway...
  • A sea plane
  • 10. It would be a good idea if right now everyone closed their shades and watched the in-flight movie.
  • 11. We've now reached our cruising altitude of 20,000 feet and ... Oh noooooooo!!!!!..
  • 12. Don't worry! That one is always on E...
  • 13. Get the parachutes ready...
  • 14. Drinks are on me...or I'll have what the Captain's having...
  • 15. Hey capt'n take another hit man...
So Long, And Thanks For Laughing

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